One of my fears are dogs. I'm not sure why I am scared of dogs, but I imagine it's because I never really grew up with them. They growl, have sharp teeth and run very fast, so when you think about it, they can be bloody scary right?
I have been chased by dogs many times in my short life, and here I shall mention the two times which have really stuck in my mind.
I imagine I must have been about fifteen, I know I was still at school. It was my parents anniversary so I decided I'd bake them a cake. The cake actually turned out to be a disaster. It didn't turn out like sponge, but more like two halfs of a giant biscuit. I also ran out of icing so it simply said on it 'Happy Mum and Dad'.
In order to make this cake I needed some eggs, so I walked to the corner shop to buy some. Once I had the eggs I began the two minute walk home, however on the way I saw a group of young girls who can't have been more than ten. With them was a dog which must have been very young. It was some sort of small terrier, but this thing was smaller than a cat.
As always when passing dogs, I try not to look at them and ignore them. I figure that by doing this they'll be less tempted to attack me. However this dog was having none of that. It started to run straight for me, so I did what I always do when a dog runs towards me. I ran away! Holding the eggs and not wanting to drop them I ran down the street as a tiny little puppy chased me probably just wanting to play with me. The group of girls were in hysterics, I could hear them laughing as I ran for my life. One of which was trying to stop her dog chasing me probably not wanting to lose the dog.
I made it back home and closed the door behind me with the eggs safe and unbroken. I think that is the most embarassing time that a dog has chased me.
As the years went by I began to get slightly braver around dogs. I was growing older and knew that it was a bit fo a silly fear.
When I was in my early twenties, I often got some extra money around christmas time posting leaflets and spare binbags, my Mum would also do it so we'd go out together delivering them. It was damn hard work as there were thousands of houses I'd have to post to, and the weather was always freezing at that time of year.
There were many times dogs would start chewing the bags which I posted through the letter boxes, which did scare me a little, but overall I was ok with it as there was a door between me and the dog.
Then one Sunday afternoon i got to a house I'll never forget. I started to walk up the path when suddenly the front door opened and out came a big black dog. I froze thinking 'shit, don't panic'. But then the dog started to growl and look at me menacingly. To my left was a six foot fence, so I did the only thing I could think of. I threw the bag full of leaflets and bin bags into the air and let out a scream.
There are not many times I have screamed in fear in my life. Thinking about it, this is the only time i can ever remember doing so. I was actually very proud though as it was a very manly scream. I remember being very impressed in my head, although still in fear for my life.
As I screamed I ran, the dog ran after me, and I jumped over the fence. This was like a proper Spider-man style jump, I managed to clear the six foot fence although cutting my hands and legs as I brushed over it.
I then had to walk back round from where I was to find my Mum. She saw me coming towards her asking what the heck had happened as she saw i was bleeding.
Apparently she'd gone to find me and was confronted by an angry woman because there was leaflets over her front garden. This was the same woman who owned the dog and was going to take the dog for a walk. The thing is I don't know why she was kicking up such a fuss when she had let her dog off the lead to freely attack anyone nearby.
That was the last year that I posted leaflets for extra cash and my fear of dogs returned, which still remains with me to this day. Looking back now though I do find both stories quite amusing, the first one due to the pure stupidness of being scared by such a tiny dog, and the second one I mainly find funny due to my manly scream.
Sunday 30 January 2011
Saturday 29 January 2011
Spike gets a spikey hairstyle
Not long after adopting the name 'Spike' as an internet username I decided I should try to think of a cooler reason to be called 'Spike' rather than because of a Buffy character. So I figured that the best way to do this would be to spike my hair.
Claire assured me that she knew all about spiking hair and that she'd do it for me before I went out one Saturday night. Trusting my sister, I allowed her to spike it for me with a tub of hair wax. I have to admit that as I sat there whilst Claire made my hair stick up into six inch spikes, I did think she was using a bit too much wax, but she assured me that she was doing it correctly.
After about half an hour, half a tub of wax was used and the hairstyle was complete. I looked very different, and certainly would stand out that night in the pub. I was however quite happy with the spikes and knew it'd make a change to my usual boring hairstyle.
So, I went out that night, had lots of weird looks, lots of laughter from my friends at the silly hairstyle, and had lots of people starting conversations with me about it. I also had to be very careful walking past people, as I almost had a few peoples eyes out due to the spikes sticking out from every direction of my head.
Once I got in I decided to wait until the next day to wash it out and went to sleep on an old towel so as not to get wax on my pillowcase.
I woke up the next day and was quite surprised to find that the spikes had bounced back into shape and had not bent from how I slept.
After breakfast I jump into the shower to wash the wax out. After one wash it didn't seem to come out, so I washed it again. I was then panicking a little bit as after about five washes the wax was not budging one bit.
I got out of the shower and asked Claire how it is meant to come out, she told me just to use shampoo.
It was then that I decided to read the directions on the tub of wax, which said something along the lines of 'Use a small amount of wax, about the size of a pea'.
I then tried fairy liquid with no luck, and then tried lemon juice, but still no luck.
I was now getting quite stressed and wasn't sure how to get the wax out, so I called Steve, who often had wacky hairstyles, hoping he'd be able to give me some advice. His girlfriend suggested I put flour in my head to dry out the wax. Running to the kitchen I got some plain flour and put it into my head. Why on earth she thought it'd dry the wax out I do not know, as I now had dough in my hair. If I'd have stuck my head in the oven I could have made a loaf of bread.
I went back into the shower to try to wash out the dough, which did eventually wash out, but the wax still wouldn't budge, although the hotter the water was it did seem to come out a tiny bit.
I then thought of a way to remove the wax, I needed heat. So I got a hairdryer, put it on a high heat and melted it out, whilst combing my hair which removed the melted wax. Still some remained in my hair, but the majority came out, although I did burn my head somewhat.
Since that day I have never trusted Claire with my hair again.
Claire assured me that she knew all about spiking hair and that she'd do it for me before I went out one Saturday night. Trusting my sister, I allowed her to spike it for me with a tub of hair wax. I have to admit that as I sat there whilst Claire made my hair stick up into six inch spikes, I did think she was using a bit too much wax, but she assured me that she was doing it correctly.
After about half an hour, half a tub of wax was used and the hairstyle was complete. I looked very different, and certainly would stand out that night in the pub. I was however quite happy with the spikes and knew it'd make a change to my usual boring hairstyle.
So, I went out that night, had lots of weird looks, lots of laughter from my friends at the silly hairstyle, and had lots of people starting conversations with me about it. I also had to be very careful walking past people, as I almost had a few peoples eyes out due to the spikes sticking out from every direction of my head.
Once I got in I decided to wait until the next day to wash it out and went to sleep on an old towel so as not to get wax on my pillowcase.
I woke up the next day and was quite surprised to find that the spikes had bounced back into shape and had not bent from how I slept.
After breakfast I jump into the shower to wash the wax out. After one wash it didn't seem to come out, so I washed it again. I was then panicking a little bit as after about five washes the wax was not budging one bit.
I got out of the shower and asked Claire how it is meant to come out, she told me just to use shampoo.
It was then that I decided to read the directions on the tub of wax, which said something along the lines of 'Use a small amount of wax, about the size of a pea'.
I then tried fairy liquid with no luck, and then tried lemon juice, but still no luck.
I was now getting quite stressed and wasn't sure how to get the wax out, so I called Steve, who often had wacky hairstyles, hoping he'd be able to give me some advice. His girlfriend suggested I put flour in my head to dry out the wax. Running to the kitchen I got some plain flour and put it into my head. Why on earth she thought it'd dry the wax out I do not know, as I now had dough in my hair. If I'd have stuck my head in the oven I could have made a loaf of bread.
I went back into the shower to try to wash out the dough, which did eventually wash out, but the wax still wouldn't budge, although the hotter the water was it did seem to come out a tiny bit.
I then thought of a way to remove the wax, I needed heat. So I got a hairdryer, put it on a high heat and melted it out, whilst combing my hair which removed the melted wax. Still some remained in my hair, but the majority came out, although I did burn my head somewhat.
Since that day I have never trusted Claire with my hair again.
Wednesday 26 January 2011
Spike scares the hell out of a beautiful young woman
In my early days of drinking I was useless at chatting up women. Now, when I say I was useless at it, this was because I never ever approached women.
One evening after having a few drinks, Dave, Rob, Russ and myself were at a kebab shop getting something to eat. It was then that we noticed three very attractive but drunk women walking past and going to opposite direction to where we were due to go. Being drunk, Rob and myself decided to also go the way they went, taking a long route home and hoping they may talk to us. Well, it worked, they talked to us and we got into a full on conversation with them.
Dave and Russ noticing that we'd been gone a while soon followed and joined us. There was one girl there who was very very pretty, and it was me who was tlaking to her the most and she seemed very flirty with me. The thoughts running through my head were 'Oh my god, I am so in here, I can't believe it!'. Even looking back now I think I could really have pulled her. That is until I said a very stupid thing.
A week or so before I had been making a box. Now this wasn't just an ordinary box. As I was a big Buffy fan I decided to make a small coffin shaped box out of wood to store things in. Whilst making this box I accidently put a chisel into my hand.
The girl I was chatting with for some reason started showing me her scars, so I in return showed her some of my scars, including the one on my hand. She asked me how I got it, to which I replied 'I put a chisel through my hand whilst making a coffin.'.
That was the last I saw of the girl, as her along with her mates ran away as soon as the words left my mouth. I tried shouting out to explain, but it was way too late, and my chances of pulling that night were gone forever.
Looking back now it is quite funny. I am also happy to say that I have never said that to another girl since.
One evening after having a few drinks, Dave, Rob, Russ and myself were at a kebab shop getting something to eat. It was then that we noticed three very attractive but drunk women walking past and going to opposite direction to where we were due to go. Being drunk, Rob and myself decided to also go the way they went, taking a long route home and hoping they may talk to us. Well, it worked, they talked to us and we got into a full on conversation with them.
Dave and Russ noticing that we'd been gone a while soon followed and joined us. There was one girl there who was very very pretty, and it was me who was tlaking to her the most and she seemed very flirty with me. The thoughts running through my head were 'Oh my god, I am so in here, I can't believe it!'. Even looking back now I think I could really have pulled her. That is until I said a very stupid thing.
A week or so before I had been making a box. Now this wasn't just an ordinary box. As I was a big Buffy fan I decided to make a small coffin shaped box out of wood to store things in. Whilst making this box I accidently put a chisel into my hand.
The girl I was chatting with for some reason started showing me her scars, so I in return showed her some of my scars, including the one on my hand. She asked me how I got it, to which I replied 'I put a chisel through my hand whilst making a coffin.'.
That was the last I saw of the girl, as her along with her mates ran away as soon as the words left my mouth. I tried shouting out to explain, but it was way too late, and my chances of pulling that night were gone forever.
Looking back now it is quite funny. I am also happy to say that I have never said that to another girl since.
Friday 21 January 2011
Spike sets fire to a young womans hair
This is a fairly more recent story.
Anyone who knows me will know that I often go on pub crawls, and on these pubcrawls we have a mascot which is a big cuddly toy Yoshi. I won him on a giant claw machine thing in Skegness, and initially wanted to get rid of him before he was our mascot.
So I decided to hold a stag do for him, getting drunk in his honor and by the end of the night hopefully finding a pretty girl to give him to.
Most of the night was just Alex and myself, before Nina joined us, and to say we got drunk is an understatement. We went to Revolution and had a large amount of shots, at which point the night gets hazy. Thankfully Alex had a camera with various pictures of the night which was mostly Yoshi posing with random strangers, the majority of which were women and who we have no memory of meeting.
Anyway at the end of the night we decided to keep Yoshi as we'd grown quite attached to him, and I headed back to Kings X for my first train home.
Whilst outside the station I met a group of people also from Stevenage, so as is often the case when drunk I showed them some magic. This carried on when we were on the train, so I decided to do a trick involving fire to really impress them. I was still very drunk and wasn't really thinking, so I held the fire quite close to the girls face who I was performing on, I guess in the hope that she'd be a bit scared but also amazed. Well this certainly seemed to work, as I then noticed that her hair was on fire. As I sat there it seemed that a lot of thoughts went through my head in a very short amount of times. These involved 'Should I run off and into another carriage and hope they don't run after me'. After a few seconds I knew I had had to do something, especially as she hadn't even realised it was on fire. Her mates did and were in hysterics of laughter.I decided to quickly pat it out, which thankfully worked as it'd not spread too far by that point.
For the rest of the train journey all of them were laughing, including the girl whose hair was on fire, so thankfully she wasn't upset by it, even though some of her hair was quite badly singed. The odd thing is that afterwards she even gave me her phonenumber. I never thought that setting fire to a girls hair would have this result, so I guess you could say it was a real fire starter! Baboom tish!
Anyone who knows me will know that I often go on pub crawls, and on these pubcrawls we have a mascot which is a big cuddly toy Yoshi. I won him on a giant claw machine thing in Skegness, and initially wanted to get rid of him before he was our mascot.
So I decided to hold a stag do for him, getting drunk in his honor and by the end of the night hopefully finding a pretty girl to give him to.
Most of the night was just Alex and myself, before Nina joined us, and to say we got drunk is an understatement. We went to Revolution and had a large amount of shots, at which point the night gets hazy. Thankfully Alex had a camera with various pictures of the night which was mostly Yoshi posing with random strangers, the majority of which were women and who we have no memory of meeting.
Anyway at the end of the night we decided to keep Yoshi as we'd grown quite attached to him, and I headed back to Kings X for my first train home.
Whilst outside the station I met a group of people also from Stevenage, so as is often the case when drunk I showed them some magic. This carried on when we were on the train, so I decided to do a trick involving fire to really impress them. I was still very drunk and wasn't really thinking, so I held the fire quite close to the girls face who I was performing on, I guess in the hope that she'd be a bit scared but also amazed. Well this certainly seemed to work, as I then noticed that her hair was on fire. As I sat there it seemed that a lot of thoughts went through my head in a very short amount of times. These involved 'Should I run off and into another carriage and hope they don't run after me'. After a few seconds I knew I had had to do something, especially as she hadn't even realised it was on fire. Her mates did and were in hysterics of laughter.I decided to quickly pat it out, which thankfully worked as it'd not spread too far by that point.
For the rest of the train journey all of them were laughing, including the girl whose hair was on fire, so thankfully she wasn't upset by it, even though some of her hair was quite badly singed. The odd thing is that afterwards she even gave me her phonenumber. I never thought that setting fire to a girls hair would have this result, so I guess you could say it was a real fire starter! Baboom tish!
Tuesday 18 January 2011
Spike's oldest dream
I really have no idea how old I was when I had this dream, but I was definitely under the age of seven, and I'd imagine over the age of five.
I'm someone who tends to remember a lot of their dreams, and I do also have some quite bizarre and sometimes scary dreams. Not to mention I have night hallucinations, talk in my sleep, have been known to sleepwalk and have been told I sometimes sleep with my eyes open.
This dream at the time was quite terrifying as I was quite young, yet it has always stuck with me. I was in the living room at home, and on the television was a news report. Suddenly the newsreader began turning green and became a scary green alien. Apparently aliens were attacking the earth, yet even though the newsreader was now an alien, he was still speaking in English and told me I had to press the button on my mums coat to make everything go back to normal.
So I ran into the hall, pressed one of the coat buttons and then suddenly everything went back to normal.
I guess there isn't much more to write about the dream, as that was pretty much it, and it's certainly not the most scary or exciting dream which is still in my memory. It is as I have stated the earliest though, so that's why I have written about it.
I suppose the strange thing was that as I was so young I was never sure if this was a dream or actually happened. For some reason it felt so real that for a few years afterwards I wasn't sure if it was real life or a dream. Obviously now I know it must have been a dream, well I hope so anyway. If it did really happen then that'd be pretty damn bonkers.
I'm someone who tends to remember a lot of their dreams, and I do also have some quite bizarre and sometimes scary dreams. Not to mention I have night hallucinations, talk in my sleep, have been known to sleepwalk and have been told I sometimes sleep with my eyes open.
This dream at the time was quite terrifying as I was quite young, yet it has always stuck with me. I was in the living room at home, and on the television was a news report. Suddenly the newsreader began turning green and became a scary green alien. Apparently aliens were attacking the earth, yet even though the newsreader was now an alien, he was still speaking in English and told me I had to press the button on my mums coat to make everything go back to normal.
So I ran into the hall, pressed one of the coat buttons and then suddenly everything went back to normal.
I guess there isn't much more to write about the dream, as that was pretty much it, and it's certainly not the most scary or exciting dream which is still in my memory. It is as I have stated the earliest though, so that's why I have written about it.
I suppose the strange thing was that as I was so young I was never sure if this was a dream or actually happened. For some reason it felt so real that for a few years afterwards I wasn't sure if it was real life or a dream. Obviously now I know it must have been a dream, well I hope so anyway. If it did really happen then that'd be pretty damn bonkers.
Monday 17 January 2011
Spike's New Friends
Once I became eighteen years old I'd go out in Stevenage with my Stevenage mates, the majority of which I'd met from school. I never used to intentionally get wasted, and even when drunk I'd still be quite boring and fairly quiet.
Now don't get me wrong, some of the friends I socialised with were real friends, and I do still see them, yet there were others, especially when the dreaded evil one used to join us who I don't think I could ever class as a friend.
Anyway, if I am honest, I don't think I ever really enjoyed going out in Stevenage. At the time I guess I didn't know anything better, so I assumed that was what it was like for most people when they go out and get drunk, but on the whole I never enjoyed it that much.
So, as a big Buffy fan I was a member of a UK based Buffy posting board. I think at the time with my quite odd personality I drove a lot of the members mad, but there were a couple who would still chat to me and informed me that they'd meet up monthly in a London pub. It was a Buffy themed night which showed episodes on a big screen, sometimes had celebrities there, and lots of other Buffy type things going on.
For quite a while I did wonder if I should attend, and for months I didn't. Yet one day I decided to just go for it and meet some of the people there.
When I first got to the pub I remember being sat there very quietly hardly talking to anyone, and I remember thoughts running through my head such as 'What the hell am I doing here?' and I was tempted to do a runner. However after a couple of beers I got chatting to a few people, although I was still very quiet. Also people only knew me by my posting board name 'Spike', so would call me that name, which is why I still remain 'Spike' now.
Anyway, the night ended up being really good, and I met some cool people, I even crashed over at one of the members houses along with quite a few others. Her name was Sarah and she was the person I got to know best to start with. Out of the people I chatted to that night and am still in regular contact with, I think the only one is Teresa.
So anyway the next month I went again and really came out of my shell this time, that is also when I properly got to know Alex, Katie, and as well as us meeting Jayjay for the first time. I soon began to realise that these were genuinely nice people who I had a lot more fun with than my Stevenage friends. So for many years I'd go to these monthly Buffy nights, as well as meeting up with people from them on other weekends, and even attending Buffy conventions. At times there were some very geeky people there, but at the same time there were some very cool people.
I certainly believe it to be one of the best things I ever did, as not only did I meet friends there, but through them I made other friends, some of which have become very close and I really couldn't imagine my life without them now.
Obviously as the years went by I lost contact with some people. Not everyone got on with each other, so it was hard to move between groups, but I did always try to chat to everyone there and not let falling outs stop me from being friends with people.
Anyway I would not be the person I am today without befriending some of the people I did, and I'd probably be living a much more boring social life if it wasn't for them, and I certainly wouldn't be the 'Spike' people know, I'd probably not be 'Spike' at all.
Now don't get me wrong, some of the friends I socialised with were real friends, and I do still see them, yet there were others, especially when the dreaded evil one used to join us who I don't think I could ever class as a friend.
Anyway, if I am honest, I don't think I ever really enjoyed going out in Stevenage. At the time I guess I didn't know anything better, so I assumed that was what it was like for most people when they go out and get drunk, but on the whole I never enjoyed it that much.
So, as a big Buffy fan I was a member of a UK based Buffy posting board. I think at the time with my quite odd personality I drove a lot of the members mad, but there were a couple who would still chat to me and informed me that they'd meet up monthly in a London pub. It was a Buffy themed night which showed episodes on a big screen, sometimes had celebrities there, and lots of other Buffy type things going on.
For quite a while I did wonder if I should attend, and for months I didn't. Yet one day I decided to just go for it and meet some of the people there.
When I first got to the pub I remember being sat there very quietly hardly talking to anyone, and I remember thoughts running through my head such as 'What the hell am I doing here?' and I was tempted to do a runner. However after a couple of beers I got chatting to a few people, although I was still very quiet. Also people only knew me by my posting board name 'Spike', so would call me that name, which is why I still remain 'Spike' now.
Anyway, the night ended up being really good, and I met some cool people, I even crashed over at one of the members houses along with quite a few others. Her name was Sarah and she was the person I got to know best to start with. Out of the people I chatted to that night and am still in regular contact with, I think the only one is Teresa.
So anyway the next month I went again and really came out of my shell this time, that is also when I properly got to know Alex, Katie, and as well as us meeting Jayjay for the first time. I soon began to realise that these were genuinely nice people who I had a lot more fun with than my Stevenage friends. So for many years I'd go to these monthly Buffy nights, as well as meeting up with people from them on other weekends, and even attending Buffy conventions. At times there were some very geeky people there, but at the same time there were some very cool people.
I certainly believe it to be one of the best things I ever did, as not only did I meet friends there, but through them I made other friends, some of which have become very close and I really couldn't imagine my life without them now.
Obviously as the years went by I lost contact with some people. Not everyone got on with each other, so it was hard to move between groups, but I did always try to chat to everyone there and not let falling outs stop me from being friends with people.
Anyway I would not be the person I am today without befriending some of the people I did, and I'd probably be living a much more boring social life if it wasn't for them, and I certainly wouldn't be the 'Spike' people know, I'd probably not be 'Spike' at all.
Sunday 16 January 2011
Spike and the Michael Jackson Fall
Whilst in the early years of Junior school I decided to join Gym Club, which was an after school club in which we'd do cool Gym type things. If we were good, we'd eventually earn badges which could then be sewn onto our gym outfit. The girls would have a leotard and thankfully the boys would just wear a T-shirt and shorts.
The thing is, being Spike, I was useless. I was always the child at school who was picked last to be on sports teams, which really you couldn't say I was even picked, I was just the last one left and had to join the team who were last to pick.
So anyway after about a year of being in Gym Club I finally managed to do a headstand with knees bent, which did earn me a badge, which was apparently ordered but I never received. It seems that everyone else had several badges sewn to them, and I believe I was the only child in the club not to have one single badge sewn to thier kit. Anyway I still enjoyed it even though I was useless at most of the tasks we had to do.
There was one day at Gym Club which I don't think will ever escape my memory, and I remember recently mentioning it to Claire (she was also a member). She'd completely forgotten about it, but when I reminded her she found it hysterically funny and remembered.
So, on this day in Gym Club we had Michael Jackson playing and we were told we were going to practice doing a Michael Jackson lean. The teacher, who was called Mr Stacey, chose me to go up and demonstrate. Why on earth out of all the children there he chose me to demonstrate this I don't think I'll ever know.
I had to approach a mat and lean forward like Michael Jackson would do in his videos. Now I'm not sure if it's that I wasn't paying attention to what exactly we were supposed to do, but apparently we were meant to lean forward as straight as possible, and then when we started to fall we'd put out our hands to stop us falling flat on our face.
Well as I was quite trusting of Mr Stacey, and as there was a mat in front of me, I didn't realise this, so I just leant forward, my body was totally straight, and I think this was possibly the most amazing thing I ever accomplished at Gym Club. A few seconds later......THUD! I went splat on my face, still with my body totally straight. I still remember when I got up and seeing the look on all the other childrens faces. There was no laughter, just concern, especially from Mr Stacey who couldn't believe what I'd just done and was genuinly worried about me.
I have to admit that it did hurt a bit, and I don't think I'd ever be able to do it again, but it'd have been a great comical effect if it was in a slapstick comedy film. Not long after that I decided to quit Gym Club, due to the lack of badges and I'd rather have been at home watching childrens programmes.
The thing is, being Spike, I was useless. I was always the child at school who was picked last to be on sports teams, which really you couldn't say I was even picked, I was just the last one left and had to join the team who were last to pick.
So anyway after about a year of being in Gym Club I finally managed to do a headstand with knees bent, which did earn me a badge, which was apparently ordered but I never received. It seems that everyone else had several badges sewn to them, and I believe I was the only child in the club not to have one single badge sewn to thier kit. Anyway I still enjoyed it even though I was useless at most of the tasks we had to do.
There was one day at Gym Club which I don't think will ever escape my memory, and I remember recently mentioning it to Claire (she was also a member). She'd completely forgotten about it, but when I reminded her she found it hysterically funny and remembered.
So, on this day in Gym Club we had Michael Jackson playing and we were told we were going to practice doing a Michael Jackson lean. The teacher, who was called Mr Stacey, chose me to go up and demonstrate. Why on earth out of all the children there he chose me to demonstrate this I don't think I'll ever know.
I had to approach a mat and lean forward like Michael Jackson would do in his videos. Now I'm not sure if it's that I wasn't paying attention to what exactly we were supposed to do, but apparently we were meant to lean forward as straight as possible, and then when we started to fall we'd put out our hands to stop us falling flat on our face.
Well as I was quite trusting of Mr Stacey, and as there was a mat in front of me, I didn't realise this, so I just leant forward, my body was totally straight, and I think this was possibly the most amazing thing I ever accomplished at Gym Club. A few seconds later......THUD! I went splat on my face, still with my body totally straight. I still remember when I got up and seeing the look on all the other childrens faces. There was no laughter, just concern, especially from Mr Stacey who couldn't believe what I'd just done and was genuinly worried about me.
I have to admit that it did hurt a bit, and I don't think I'd ever be able to do it again, but it'd have been a great comical effect if it was in a slapstick comedy film. Not long after that I decided to quit Gym Club, due to the lack of badges and I'd rather have been at home watching childrens programmes.
Saturday 15 January 2011
Spike and The Bench Girl
This is somewhat of a long story, which several people already know, but it's something I'd like a proper record of.
A good few years ago now, before Facebook and Myspace, the only social networking site I was aware of and a member of was Faceparty. It tended to be full of perverts, fakes and cam girls trying to sell cam sex shows online. However there were occasionally some good people on there, and a couple I am still in touch with now. So anyway as I was in my early twenties and slightly more immature than I am now (although not much), I'd mainly browse through the site in the hope of finding attractive single girls to chat up. One such attempt was Christina, who surprisingly messaged me back and we eventually swapped yahoo messenger addys and kept in touch that way.
We started to chat quite a lot, and a friendship evolved, and I no longer saw her as someone I'd like to chat up. It turned out she lived in London near Hyde Park, but she never told me where, just that she lived about 15 minutes walk away.
She always refused to meet up with me when I asked, so one afternoon, with the help of Alex, I wrote out some very brief notes and put them in various places around Hyde Park for her to find. She ended up finding two of them, which was pretty cool, and she then decided to do the same to me a week later. She found a bench where she left me a note and a lollipop. The next day I found the bench she'd described and left a note for her in return. For years this would happen, we'd leave presents and notes under the bench for each other to find, and it was just really fun and cool. I'd even left dvd's under there, and thankfully no one else found them but her.
There was also no romance or anything like that involved, just a good friendship, although I did leave her an engagement ring once, but she refused to marry me, she kept the ring though (luckily only a cheap £1 ring from Claires).
Still refusing to meet up in person, one day I decided to do a stakeout of the bench, so I talked Alex and Kat into joining me, and we spent hours and hours sitting in Hyde Park watching the bench and waiting for her to collect the goodies. Many things happened that afternoon, including a woman getting naked on the bench and having a guy (hopefully her boyfriend) taking pictures of her. However there was no sign of Christina, so we gave up after meeting some french girls who we attempted to chat up and went off with. Well, as fate would have it, Christina was apparently in the park at that moment and collected the stuff about five minutes after we'd left.
One day I was at home and I got a parcel in the post. It was from Christina, somehow she'd tracked down my address. It sounds somewhat silly now, but that was a really cool day, as it was totally unexpected, and I still remember how excited and happy it made me feel. She'd sent me cd's a Spiderman top, a rubber duck and some other bits and pieces. She said it was to thank me for being there for her. She had a lot of issues, and we used to talk a lot, and hopefully I helped to an extent.
So, after a couple of years I certainly had my doubts as to if this girl was real. Was she really a girl, was she called Christina? She'd never meet me so she could be anyone. Well I was and still am fairly sure that she was a girl. She'd often sing songs and send the soundbites to me to listen to. Also one day out of the blue she actually called me. She never used to answer her phone, she'd only text, but one time she called me and we chatted. She'd wanted to apologise as she often had major moodswings and felt she was often quite mean to me (which she certainly could be). It actually sounded like she was almost crying whilst on the phone too, so I do believe it was really her, I never spoke to her on the phone again after that unfortunately, as she went back to simply texting and communicating online.
I also did a search on friends reunited for her, and found her name listed there, as well as having done google searches with her email addy, it all seemed to check out that she was who she claimed to be. However there was one girl in her class on friends reunited who had a website link, so I clicked it to check it out. Now if you're still reading this, you'll probably find this quite silly, but this girls website had photos of her pet cats. They were exactly the same photos that Christina had sent to me claiming they were her cats. So I did wonder if Christina was this other girl (Gemma I think it was). I questioned Christina about it, and she admitted to stealing the pictures and pretending they were her cats, but I still find it quite odd even to this day.
The swapping of presents lasted for a few years, and she'd often send me things in the post, although I was never allowed to know her address to send her things. As I mentioned before she had a lot of issues, so as time went by she chatted online less until she was hardly on at all.
We then kept in contact via email, but that started to become rarer. In recent years I'd get about two emails a year from her. The last I heard from her was about a year and a half ago, so I assume she has a new email address now. It's a shame I've lost contact with her, as although I never met her she was a good friend. I suppose the fact she didn't know anyone I did and that we'd never met, we were able to talk to each other about things we'd rather others didn't know.
I almost forgot, there have been several gigs I've been to and she was there, but this was before I knew her. Then, since I got to know her she'd often be at the same gigs as Alex, even texting me once to tell me what Alex was wearing, so I'd text Alex and freak him out by this. But I believe she saw Alex a few times, not that she'd ever approach him.
So, even after all this time I still have all her letters kept safely in a folder, and I'd still like to meet her. I think it's unlikely she'll ever get back in contact and want to meet up.
I did send an email to her before Christmas, just in the hope she may get it, but I've still not had a reply, I've also tried to find her on Facebook, but to no avail. I would really love to know for sure if this girl was who she claimed though, but I think it'll always be a mystery.
Well, whoever she or even he was, they did become a good friend even if it was only online.
I also hope she has her life sorted out now and is settled down with a nice guy and a decent job.
If anyone I don't know is reading this and knows of a girl who'd leave presents under a bench, it'd be great if you could put me in touch with them!
A good few years ago now, before Facebook and Myspace, the only social networking site I was aware of and a member of was Faceparty. It tended to be full of perverts, fakes and cam girls trying to sell cam sex shows online. However there were occasionally some good people on there, and a couple I am still in touch with now. So anyway as I was in my early twenties and slightly more immature than I am now (although not much), I'd mainly browse through the site in the hope of finding attractive single girls to chat up. One such attempt was Christina, who surprisingly messaged me back and we eventually swapped yahoo messenger addys and kept in touch that way.
We started to chat quite a lot, and a friendship evolved, and I no longer saw her as someone I'd like to chat up. It turned out she lived in London near Hyde Park, but she never told me where, just that she lived about 15 minutes walk away.
She always refused to meet up with me when I asked, so one afternoon, with the help of Alex, I wrote out some very brief notes and put them in various places around Hyde Park for her to find. She ended up finding two of them, which was pretty cool, and she then decided to do the same to me a week later. She found a bench where she left me a note and a lollipop. The next day I found the bench she'd described and left a note for her in return. For years this would happen, we'd leave presents and notes under the bench for each other to find, and it was just really fun and cool. I'd even left dvd's under there, and thankfully no one else found them but her.
There was also no romance or anything like that involved, just a good friendship, although I did leave her an engagement ring once, but she refused to marry me, she kept the ring though (luckily only a cheap £1 ring from Claires).
Still refusing to meet up in person, one day I decided to do a stakeout of the bench, so I talked Alex and Kat into joining me, and we spent hours and hours sitting in Hyde Park watching the bench and waiting for her to collect the goodies. Many things happened that afternoon, including a woman getting naked on the bench and having a guy (hopefully her boyfriend) taking pictures of her. However there was no sign of Christina, so we gave up after meeting some french girls who we attempted to chat up and went off with. Well, as fate would have it, Christina was apparently in the park at that moment and collected the stuff about five minutes after we'd left.
One day I was at home and I got a parcel in the post. It was from Christina, somehow she'd tracked down my address. It sounds somewhat silly now, but that was a really cool day, as it was totally unexpected, and I still remember how excited and happy it made me feel. She'd sent me cd's a Spiderman top, a rubber duck and some other bits and pieces. She said it was to thank me for being there for her. She had a lot of issues, and we used to talk a lot, and hopefully I helped to an extent.
So, after a couple of years I certainly had my doubts as to if this girl was real. Was she really a girl, was she called Christina? She'd never meet me so she could be anyone. Well I was and still am fairly sure that she was a girl. She'd often sing songs and send the soundbites to me to listen to. Also one day out of the blue she actually called me. She never used to answer her phone, she'd only text, but one time she called me and we chatted. She'd wanted to apologise as she often had major moodswings and felt she was often quite mean to me (which she certainly could be). It actually sounded like she was almost crying whilst on the phone too, so I do believe it was really her, I never spoke to her on the phone again after that unfortunately, as she went back to simply texting and communicating online.
I also did a search on friends reunited for her, and found her name listed there, as well as having done google searches with her email addy, it all seemed to check out that she was who she claimed to be. However there was one girl in her class on friends reunited who had a website link, so I clicked it to check it out. Now if you're still reading this, you'll probably find this quite silly, but this girls website had photos of her pet cats. They were exactly the same photos that Christina had sent to me claiming they were her cats. So I did wonder if Christina was this other girl (Gemma I think it was). I questioned Christina about it, and she admitted to stealing the pictures and pretending they were her cats, but I still find it quite odd even to this day.
The swapping of presents lasted for a few years, and she'd often send me things in the post, although I was never allowed to know her address to send her things. As I mentioned before she had a lot of issues, so as time went by she chatted online less until she was hardly on at all.
We then kept in contact via email, but that started to become rarer. In recent years I'd get about two emails a year from her. The last I heard from her was about a year and a half ago, so I assume she has a new email address now. It's a shame I've lost contact with her, as although I never met her she was a good friend. I suppose the fact she didn't know anyone I did and that we'd never met, we were able to talk to each other about things we'd rather others didn't know.
I almost forgot, there have been several gigs I've been to and she was there, but this was before I knew her. Then, since I got to know her she'd often be at the same gigs as Alex, even texting me once to tell me what Alex was wearing, so I'd text Alex and freak him out by this. But I believe she saw Alex a few times, not that she'd ever approach him.
So, even after all this time I still have all her letters kept safely in a folder, and I'd still like to meet her. I think it's unlikely she'll ever get back in contact and want to meet up.
I did send an email to her before Christmas, just in the hope she may get it, but I've still not had a reply, I've also tried to find her on Facebook, but to no avail. I would really love to know for sure if this girl was who she claimed though, but I think it'll always be a mystery.
Well, whoever she or even he was, they did become a good friend even if it was only online.
I also hope she has her life sorted out now and is settled down with a nice guy and a decent job.
If anyone I don't know is reading this and knows of a girl who'd leave presents under a bench, it'd be great if you could put me in touch with them!
Thursday 13 January 2011
Spike's Sticky Situation
I was around the age of six years old when I first tried chewing gum.
During the school summer holidays, there was a rare occaision where my mum had a week off and so was able to look after Claire and myself. One day we had planned to go to the cinema to watch 'The Fox and the Hound', but in the morning my mum wanted to go to Tesco to do a bit of shopping. Back in those days they still had sweets by the check out, and seeing some chewing gum I asked my mum if I could have some. She was a bit wary at first, but then gave in as she trusted I'd not be silly enough to swallow it.
The chewing gum I'd chosen was the Wrigley's Juicy Fruit, which came in a bright yellow packet, and I have to admit that as soon as I put a piece in my mouth I found that it tasted quite nice. So we then went off to a few other shops while I was chewing on the gum.
At school we had recently been read 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', and as I chewed on my gum I rememebered the character named 'Violet Beauregarde' who would chew gum all the time. The only time she'd not be chewing gum would be whilst she slept, so she'd put piece of half chewed gum behind her ear when she did so. So I thought I'd try this out with my piece of chewing gum. I took it out of my mouth and placed it behind my ear whilst we carried on shopping.
Five minutes later though I wasn't quite as cheerful as I had been. I soon noticed that the gum was stuck in my hair. Not wanting to tell my mother this I whispered to Claire my sticky dilema. She also could not get it out of my hair, so I was left with no choice but to tell my mum. We then cut our shopping trip short and hurried home in an attempt to remove the gum.
My mum certainly wasn't happy and did shout at me somewhat as I was sat in a chair as she tried to remove the gum. She tried pulling it out to no avail, so then tried rubbing ice on it, which was apparently meant to help, but that didn't work either. In the end she had to result to cutting it out, which even then she wasn't able to cut it all out. So for quite a few weeks I had chewing gum still in my hair, until I eventually had my haircut.
After that I was not allowed chewing gum again, which I think was pretty much the case until I was at least ten years old, and to be honest I have never really enjoyed it since.
During the school summer holidays, there was a rare occaision where my mum had a week off and so was able to look after Claire and myself. One day we had planned to go to the cinema to watch 'The Fox and the Hound', but in the morning my mum wanted to go to Tesco to do a bit of shopping. Back in those days they still had sweets by the check out, and seeing some chewing gum I asked my mum if I could have some. She was a bit wary at first, but then gave in as she trusted I'd not be silly enough to swallow it.
The chewing gum I'd chosen was the Wrigley's Juicy Fruit, which came in a bright yellow packet, and I have to admit that as soon as I put a piece in my mouth I found that it tasted quite nice. So we then went off to a few other shops while I was chewing on the gum.
At school we had recently been read 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory', and as I chewed on my gum I rememebered the character named 'Violet Beauregarde' who would chew gum all the time. The only time she'd not be chewing gum would be whilst she slept, so she'd put piece of half chewed gum behind her ear when she did so. So I thought I'd try this out with my piece of chewing gum. I took it out of my mouth and placed it behind my ear whilst we carried on shopping.
Five minutes later though I wasn't quite as cheerful as I had been. I soon noticed that the gum was stuck in my hair. Not wanting to tell my mother this I whispered to Claire my sticky dilema. She also could not get it out of my hair, so I was left with no choice but to tell my mum. We then cut our shopping trip short and hurried home in an attempt to remove the gum.
My mum certainly wasn't happy and did shout at me somewhat as I was sat in a chair as she tried to remove the gum. She tried pulling it out to no avail, so then tried rubbing ice on it, which was apparently meant to help, but that didn't work either. In the end she had to result to cutting it out, which even then she wasn't able to cut it all out. So for quite a few weeks I had chewing gum still in my hair, until I eventually had my haircut.
After that I was not allowed chewing gum again, which I think was pretty much the case until I was at least ten years old, and to be honest I have never really enjoyed it since.
Spike the ape man
This is a story from my childhood, which I am often reminded of by my parents. I can not remember quite how old I was, at a guess I'd say I was around the age of seven or eight, but the rest of the nights events I remember fairly well.
It wasn't often that my parents went for a night out and left Claire and myself at home to be babysat, I guess even less so after what happened on this occaision. It was often difficult to find someone willing to look after us if it was a family event with no children, however this time around they were out with some friends, so my aunty Debra was willing to babysit. She would have been in her early twenties at the time, and would let us run wild and do what we wanted to.
Claire and myself were always well behaved infront of others, we'd been brought up to be polite children, and rarely caused trouble or did anything too extreme, yet on this occaision things were very different. The Russ Abbott show was on the TV, however as is quite typical for the BBC even back in those days it was a repeat and Claire and myself were dreadfully bored. I'm not sure if we'd been given sweets with high E numbers in that drove us wild, but we found ourselves running around and jumping on furniture.
Then came the moment I'll possibly never forget.... As Russ Abbott was dressed up in a fat suit singing 'Rubber Ball, you come bouncing back to me' I looked up at the curtain and decided to do a Tarzan impression. I am not entrirely sure what I started to yell out as I jumped from the settee, grabbed the curtain and swung, but I know that what seemed like a long swing was actually only a matter of milliseconds and I then found myself truly sounding like tarzan with an 'arghhhhhhhhhhhhh'.
Although only a child, I had managed to not only pull down the curtain and curtain rail, but also the brackets in the wall and some quite large chunks of the wall itself.
The rest of the night Claire and myself were sat in silence. Debra obviously didn't shout at me, but I believe she was also fairly quiet and worried what would happen when my parents returned home.
When they finally returned home Debra tried to explain that it had been an accident, which I still don't understand why she ever said that. My parents were fine with it though, they never shouted or told me off over it, which considering it's probably one of the most mischievous things I ever did as a child I find quite surprising.
I have to admit that I have been tempted many times over the years to swing on a curtain again, as for about a second it was a fantastic buzz.
It wasn't often that my parents went for a night out and left Claire and myself at home to be babysat, I guess even less so after what happened on this occaision. It was often difficult to find someone willing to look after us if it was a family event with no children, however this time around they were out with some friends, so my aunty Debra was willing to babysit. She would have been in her early twenties at the time, and would let us run wild and do what we wanted to.
Claire and myself were always well behaved infront of others, we'd been brought up to be polite children, and rarely caused trouble or did anything too extreme, yet on this occaision things were very different. The Russ Abbott show was on the TV, however as is quite typical for the BBC even back in those days it was a repeat and Claire and myself were dreadfully bored. I'm not sure if we'd been given sweets with high E numbers in that drove us wild, but we found ourselves running around and jumping on furniture.
Then came the moment I'll possibly never forget.... As Russ Abbott was dressed up in a fat suit singing 'Rubber Ball, you come bouncing back to me' I looked up at the curtain and decided to do a Tarzan impression. I am not entrirely sure what I started to yell out as I jumped from the settee, grabbed the curtain and swung, but I know that what seemed like a long swing was actually only a matter of milliseconds and I then found myself truly sounding like tarzan with an 'arghhhhhhhhhhhhh'.
Although only a child, I had managed to not only pull down the curtain and curtain rail, but also the brackets in the wall and some quite large chunks of the wall itself.
The rest of the night Claire and myself were sat in silence. Debra obviously didn't shout at me, but I believe she was also fairly quiet and worried what would happen when my parents returned home.
When they finally returned home Debra tried to explain that it had been an accident, which I still don't understand why she ever said that. My parents were fine with it though, they never shouted or told me off over it, which considering it's probably one of the most mischievous things I ever did as a child I find quite surprising.
I have to admit that I have been tempted many times over the years to swing on a curtain again, as for about a second it was a fantastic buzz.
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