Spike takes Sarah to London to see Derren Brown

So, I don't normally do this. The idea of this blog is to type up stories from my life, however this one is very recent and may come across more like a typical blog entry. However, I had such a good day this previous Saturday that I felt I should type it up.
Most weekends when I go out, I go out to get drunk. I meet up with friends, go to the pub and get wasted on beer and sambuca. I guess there's nothing wrong with this as it can be fun, but from time to time it gets repetitive, expensive and often I do things I regret the next day.

 This weekend just gone has to ahve been the busiest all year. When I say busiest, I mean that there was so much going on. There was the Sonisphere festival, Rhythms of the world, Emily's Birthday, Todds Birthday and Teresa's BBQ, and am sure a couple of other things which have escaped me at this time.
Originally I had planned to go to Teresa's BBQ as I always have such a fun time, however Claire bought me two Derren Brown tickets for my birthday which clashed with this. For a while I was unsure if I should sell them and try to get soem for another date, but as the weeks went by, a few people said they may not make the BBQ and I wasn't sure I'd get replacement tickets if I'd sold mine. I also did not want to upset Claire as she has now befriended Teresa and could easily have found out I was at her BBQ instead of Derren Brown. So I decided to stick with seeing Derren, however it was not easy finding someone to join me as everyone was busy, but finally after a bit of persuading Sarah agreed to come. She's probably reading this, but I'm glad she came along as I know she loves Derren and we jsut had a genuinely fun day out without any alcohol.


When we arrived in London, we went to Davenports first of all. I told Sarah it was kind of secretly hidden away, which it sort of is, but I don't think she was impressed. Anyway I finally got to spend the voucher that Shibs, Mart, Debbs and Mark bought me for my birthday. Forty pounds doesn't go far on magic though, especially from an overpriced magic shop, but I got a couple of essentials and something new which looked interesting.
After that we were starving so headed for something to eat, but took a bit of a detour as we were trying to find a TGI's. This is when we passed M&M world. I'd never heard of it, and I beleive it's still quite new, but it's a massive M&M's shop in Leicester Square. We went in, and were somewhat amazed by the size. Kids and tourists everywhere. Then we saw a massive M&M pick 'n' Mix sections, and startign filling up bags with various colours. The bags got quite full and it was then we realsied that these were going to cost close to twenty pounds, so we dumped them on the side and had a photo taken on an M&M mock Abbey Road crossing (I'll have to pair it up with my real Abbey Road pictures and put them on facebook).

After a nice meal in TGI's we decided to head to 'Ripley's Believe it or Not' as we had a couple of hours to kill before Derren Brown. It was pretty expensive, but we had a voucher for '2 for 1'. It was fun, definitely not worth the money it costs to get in normally, but we took several funny pictures and had a good laugh in there. There was a six legged dear which only had four legs (which was quite possibly the most amazing thing we saw), several odd deformed humans, a mirror maze and a really weird funky spinning tunnel thing. We timed it prety much perfectly and got out with jsut enough time to get soem sweets before getting to the theatre.

Now, I know sweets in London are expensive, especially a pick 'n' mix. But we found one in Piccadilly and figured they'd be cheaper than the M&M's one, as well as having more variety. Maybe we got a bit carried away with what we put in. Sarah said she put two of everything in, but it seemed like a lot more than that. When we got to the till, we saw a packet of coconut M&M's, but being quite pricey we decided to stick them into the bag of pick 'n' mix. I'm sure this isn't classed as shoplifting is it? I mean, it's adding extra weight to the sweets so we're still paying for them, just at a lower price. The sweets came to nearly £16, which was a bit of a shock, but there wasn't much we could do whilst at the till, so we bought them and made our way to the theatre.

The show was good fun, and some of the confessions from some of the audience were quite disturbing. However I don't think it was as good as last years show, this may be due to him having different writers this year. I was also panicking a little bit halfway through. One of the sweets happened to be a blue lolly. I was quite happy sucking on this during the show, until much to Sarah's amusement, she pointed out that I now had blue lips and blue teeth. I was then eating as many different sweets as I could to try to get the blue to fade, I couldn't pose for a photo with Derren after the show with a blue mouth!
Afterwards we headed to the stage door to meet him. Unfortunately he was in quite a rush this time, and only had time to quickly sign an autograph and pose for a pic, no time to chat. The problem was though, our first photo didn't come out. I was happy to walk away then, but Sarah insisted we get another one. So we quickly asked for another, but yet again the photo didn't take properly, so had to get another. He was the nicest guy you could imagine, but he must have been a bit pissed off with us by now.
He then headed back into the theatre, and we started to walk back to the tube. However, he then came out a side door with his mates to wherever he was off to. I had earlier suggested we try to hang out with him, to which Sarah said was stalkerish. When he came out though, Sarah seemed quite keen to try to follow him, which i was now deadset against. So, we walked one way, suddenly he appeared near us again. He'd obviously have remembered us as being the annoying two who kept taking a photo. So we turned down a street to try to avoid him, then a few minutes later we realise he's now infront of us. It seemed wherever we went, he was there. I eventually had to drag Sarah down a street into Covent Garden to make sure we weren't going follow him anymore. I think she was slightly dissapointed by this though. We walked around Covent Garden a bit and then headed back to Kings Cross for the train home. Both of us were pretty tired and continued trying to eat some of the sweets we still had left over. I have to say that i have now gone off sweets, I had way too many.

So, I had a really good day, which I hope Sarah did too. Although I spent a fair bit, I didn't spend anywhere near as much as I do when drinking in London. I also had a more memorable day than when I go out drinking. I really should do things like this more often. I guess the best thing of all too was that there was no chance of having  ahangover the next day.

What Spike wanted to be when he grew up.

So everyone knows that I stand out from most people for all sorts of reasons. When I was a child and asked what I wanted to be when i grew up was always one of those things. Most of my classmates at school wanted to be a policeman, fireman or professional football. Whenever I was asked I'd say I wanted to draw cartoons for Disney, even at a very very young age. Over the years my classmates ideas for jobs changed somewhat to things such as wanting to be vets or teachers etc, however mine didn't. Even in secondary school I stood by my dream of wanting to be a Disney animator, and whenever I visited Disney land, one of the hilights for me was watching the animators drawing stills for the next animated motion picture due out in a few years time.
Halfway through secondary school thoough, I lost this dream. I'm not sure if it was that I realised I'd never be good enough, or if it was that I found something even better that I wanted to become.
When I was off sick from school, there was soemtimes a programme on called 'Movies Behind the Magic' , or something similar. In it they'd show you special effects from films, and how they went about creating them. The making of monsters, puppetry and make up effects is what amazed me, and from that moment on I knew I wanted to make monsters for films. Trying to explain this to people though, they didn't always have a clue what i was on about.
I used to make little monsters out of copydex glue at home, the copydex is similar to latex and gave a great feel of skin to my creations. I even made a corpse out of it in sixth form which was a hit with most of the students, although the teachers frowned upon it.
In year 11 I remember having a career interview and having to tell the careers advisor what I wanted to be and she would direct me into what courses I should take up after my GCSE's. What a waste of time that was. She didn't seem to have a clue what I was on about and could only suggest taking up an art course and had no advice for me after that. So that's when I went into sixxth form and studied advanced art for two years without passing. In that time I became more odd and a little more extrovert and more like the Spike people know today. However I had my dreams squashed a bit when I didn't pass and when I was not allowed into a foundation course at Hitchin college either, as I wasn't good enough. Still, I carried on making monsters and odd creations at home, althoguh I now also had a love of painting due to my advanced art course. I found out addresses for uk special effects companys and sent off letters to them asking for advice and apprenticeships. I only ever got one reply, and that was from the Jim Henson Creature Shop in London, the company I'd dreamed of working for for years. They said that there were currently no jobs or apprenticeships going, but I was very pleased they at least replied. Unfortunately the London chain closed down a year or two after that. I guess my dreams of making monsters then gradually faded, and for most of my twenties I was unsure about what I wanted to do, but knew it had to be creative. I carried on with my painting, which had greatly improved since sixth form. I also still made the occaisional 3D sculpture, I think the last was a life size Gollum. Unfortunately when Jacob was young he broke bits off of it, so I disposed of him (Gollum, not Jacob).
So now my passion is magic. I want to be a magician, which I guess I technically am. It started out as jsut trying to impress a few mates in the pub, but once you learna  little, you get hooked and want to learna lot more. whether or not I'll become a full time pro, I don't know, but whatever happens it'll always at least be a hobby. As for my art, I'll still always paint in my spare time too. I very rarely draw cartoons anymore, and I guess my lack of having drawn them means that my cartoons are nowhere near as good as when I was younger. However I'll still paint with oils as it can be an amazing feeling, bringing a painting to life. i also find that emotions greatly improve how a painting turns out. I love to paint when I'm sad, as they always come out better, I guess as I'm putting emotion into the painting. So, although my original career plan has changed soemwhat since childhood, I'm still as creative as I always was, and still strive for a creative career.

Spike sneaks into Sonisphere

I live very close to Knebworth which is a park that often holds quite big gigs and festivals. It's in walking distance and in the past I have been up there to try to sneak into Oasis (this was many years ago, I really don't like them and at the time it was simply because it was a cool thing to do), which unfortunately didn't work.
Last year the Sonsiphere festival was on, and I knew several people who were going. For weeks I'd boast that I'd try to sneak in and meet up with them, but deep down I didn't really intend to bother. On the Friday though, I saw that a friend of mine, Brad, had done just that. Sneaked in easily simply by walking through the carpark. This made me wonder if I should risk it.
I woke up Saturday morning and for a while kept changing my mind on if I should or shouldn't risk it. I was so bored out of my skull that I decided to have a walk up there at least, still not totally sure if I should risk trying to sneak in.
When I got there I realised I could have got a free shuttle bus up there, which was somewhat annoying as it'd have taken a lot less time to get there. Anyway, I scouted out the area and tried to look for some weak points in security. Seeing the carpark I made my way to the gate there, but a woman stopped me. I asked if I could get through and she said 'no', so I stood around for a while, texting and calling Nina, Ross and Maddie to tell them I was outside, still boasting I'd get in. The thing is, I was seriously considering going back home, yet part of me (the Spike part) decided 'bugger this for a bunch of bananas' and I was then considering jumping one of the fences to get into the campsite. However there were several watch towers, and I'd have easily been seen.
So, I then decided to walk around the campsite, continueing to look for weak spots in security and where I could jump the fence, or even crawl under it. Unfortunaly there seemed to be security covering every spot, and I knew that it'd take a good couple of seconds to climb or crawl under, in which time I'd be caught. So I continued walking for a good 20 minutes, until I got to Knebworth House and a little grave yard, which was a dead end (no pun intended).
Just as I was about to walk back, I noticed a huge gate open. There was no one by it, and it looked as if it lead into the main stage areas. My heart was beating fast, but I went for it and walked through the gate. There were lots of trailers parked there, and as I then noticed security and police everywhere! I couldn't turn around and go back now thoguh as they'd have known I'd sneaked in, so I carried on walking, prepared to get out one of my business cards to claim I was entertainment and didn't have a wristband.
My heart was beating more and more as I approached at least 3 policemen and 5 security guards, but they said nothing. I walked straight past them and they didn't say a word. Wow, what a feeling that was, I had been so scared, yet at the same time was totally buzzing!
However I now realsied that I was not in the main stage area, or the campsite, I was inbetween both, and needed a wrist band to get into either of them. I called Ross, told him where I was and said I was going to try to get into the main area. I was now quite scared and was once again looking for weakspots in security, but now there really were none. I sat down on the grass and watched people passing through, most were being thoroughly checked. I then got chatting to a teenager and explained to him I'd sneaked in. He told me I'd be better off going along the path a bit and walking in there as it was more crowded.
Now up the path, the security guy was shouting 'let me see your wristbands please' as people passed through. But so many people were passing through that he couldn't see them all, so I waitied for a big crowd of people and lost myself among them as I walked in with them.
I did it! Spike got into Sonisphere! It was an amazing feeling, I couldn;t stop laughing to myself. Passers by must have thought I was nuts or off my face. I then met up with the group and had a fantastic day seeing acts such as Skunk Anansie, Motley Crue, Placebo and Ramstein.

After Ramstein, I decided to try to sneak into the campsite for more beer with the others. Again, I simply walked through a big crowd of people and had no need to show a wristband. However it was now just Maddie and myself walking back to the tent, as the others had gone earlier. Maddie had no idea where the tent was, so we spent at least two hours walking around campsites looking for a lobster flag. There were unfortunately several lobster flags, and each time we found one, it was the wrong one.
We met lots of people and attended a few brief tent partys on our way to finding Nina and Ross though. When we finally made it back, we chatted for a bit, then everyone went to bed. I decided to stay for a bit and met a group of people having a 'Dave' party, where everyone was renamed Dave. I was of course magic Dave. Spent a couple of hours there, witnessed a very weird bloke shouting things out and starting riots, which then involve dlots of police coming along, then thought I had better head home as it was about 4am and I had to be up early for a charity event in Hyde Park.

I made my way out which looked a bit different to how I remembered it, but I put that down to being drunk. I then had to walk down a country lane in the pitch darkness, with a tiny keyring torch as my only light. When I finally got off the country lane I realised I was totally lost. I was in some sort of village, and looking at a map in a village square I realised I was in Codicote. What was even worse was my phone was dead and out of battery, and being gone 4am even if I found a phonebox I didn't know who I could call who wouldn't be pissed off about being woken up.
I decided to walk back through the pitch back country lane and back to the venue. There was a guy on the gate and I asked him if he knew the way to Old Knebworth Lane, he said he didn't, but I knew it must be the other side of the park. He couldn't let me through though as I didn't have a wristband. I was now well and truly stuck, what the hell was I going to do?
Then suddenly I saw a car driving out, so i ran in front of it and stopped it. It was a guy and his girlfriend who lived in Ware. I explained my situation and said I'd give them money for petrol if they could give me a lift to Stevenage, which thank god they ageed to. I gave them a fiver, thanked them, and then started the 5 minute walk home, finally getting home about 5am. A few hours later and I had to be up for my charity walk, needless to say, I was exausted, but couldn't break tradition and let Debbs down.

So, overall a fantastic day, with a great story to go along with it, I plan to do it all again this year!

Spike's fear of parks.

Ok, so this title is a little misleading. I am not scared of parks. Hyde Park is one of my favourite places ever, and it's a place I don't go to as much as I used to and really should start doign so again. I suppose not having presents under the bench for quite some time has been what has stopped me going as often.
Anyway, I do often have some problems when walking through a park. I walk through a park every day on my way to work, and there are many things I have to overcome, especially at this time of year.

The least of my worries is getting mugged or attacked by chavs. A few years ago in daylight as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance arrive and rush over towards a crowd. It was a guy who had been stabbed after an attempted mugging. He died and there was a big thing about it in the papers for a while. This didn't make me any more worried about walkign across the park. I have several ways to prevent getting mugged. One is a technique by Derrin Brown, in which you have to start saying 'I had a pencil case at school which was shaped like a calculator but wasn't a real calculator. I had it confiscated, even thoguh the teacher knew it wasn't a real calculator'. Apparently it works all the time! I also have some wicked self defense moves, as well as cards I can throw at them and flash paper I can set off to temporarily blind them.

So, my next worry is a little more odd. Football. I hate football, and I can't play it. Yet at this time of the year, the park is full of people playing football as i walk to work and back home again. Now, the problem with this is, that something happens quite often as I walk past people kicking a ball about. For some unknown reason, (maybe I'm some sort of football magnet) the ball is often kicked far away from the players and straight into my direction. They say say something like 'Over here mate!'. I then know that no matter however i try to kick the ball to them, something will go wrong. Either I kick it, but not hard enough and it just looks pathertic, or even worse.... I kick it and am slightly pleased there was some power in it, until i realise it has gone in a totally different direction, and the players then have to run even further to get the ball than if I hadn't passed it to them. This happens on countless occasions. I have at times ignored the players and let them get the ball themselves, but then they just shout abuse at me, so I still find myself having to try to pass the ball back, which is always a cringe worthy experience.

So, my last problem is the obvious one. Dogs. Parks are full of dogs, and I often find myself taking a slightly longer route if I see a dog off a lead. Thankfully it's been some time since a dog has chased me or come up to me, but I still know that if they start to run, I will run, which will encourage them more. I will then look like a fool and no doubt have countless spectators laughing at me.

So, these are the main dangers I face each day trying to walk across what may seem like a harmless ordinary park.

Spike becomes Spider-Man

During my geekier days I discovered conventions. Now, I never initially intended to go to one, but I got chatting to a very pretty girl called Kellie who everyone fancied including myself at the time. She's still a mate, but I only see her on rare ocassions. Anyway, she needed to find someone to share a room with a friend, so I didn't want to turn down a pretty girl or her pretty mate. So I agree to attend a Buffy and Angel convention at Heathrow. I knew a couple of people who were going, but none whome I was really close to were going.
Still I went along, met lots of new friends, tried chatting up Amy Acker (an actress from Angel), which went quite well surprisingly and just had lots of fun.
I don't think anything ever beat my first convention, but I went to several more and had a great time at most of those too. After a few of them, I then got into the whole fancy dress scene for the evening partys, and would plan different costumes for different cons.

Spider-Man had recently come out at the cinema, and as a fan of the 1960s comics I decided to make a Spider-Man costume for a con. This was made out of some blue pyjamas and an old sheet dyed red. If I'm honest, it looked awful, but I handsewed it all, which was quite an achievement.
I really started to love the costume, so as well as wearing it at conventions I decided to wear it out in public a few times for a laugh, and it certainly did get some laughs. I then wore it to a party, but one of the guests got very drunk on tequila and threw up over it. I decided I should bin it and create a new costume.

 My new costume I planned out better. I found a special dancewear company that sold stretch lycra costumes. So I ordered two lots of trousers and two long sleaved tops in blue and red. I then cut parts from the red set and stitched them onto the blue, with the spare red fabric being used for the mask and to sew onto some special soft aqua shoes I obtained.
This costume was awesome! It looked a lot better, was more comfortable, and now I could do some serious spidey stuff! The only downside was that the lycra was tight and you could easily see the shape of my penis. I therefore I had to wear a jockstrap with a sock in it to hide this, which also was a bonus as it looked as if I had a bigger package.

  I accomplished many feits with my new costume, and always got laughs from the general public. I even met Louise Redknap, but she seemed to be quite scared.
I climbed lampposts, kissed lots of hot women and even did my shopping. I even got featured in FHM magazine, which was amazing. Christina saw it before me, and when she told me, I was over the moon.

 As much as I had always wanted to save someones life, or even just stop a mugging, it never happened. Still, I was always willing to save people if the chance came about.
Unfortunately there did come a time when I felt I had to hang up my mask and retire from my superhero days. I discovered a small hole developing in the crotch area. I could have sewn it up, or I could have made a new suit, but I think I'd also lost the passion for running around central London as a nutter in a Spider-Man costume. There was also the fact that whenever there was a fathers for justice guy dressed in a Spidey costume and climbing some tall London landmark, people would think it was me.

Spike gets kicked in the testicles

I don't suppose the title of this entry leaves much to the imagination, and it's obvious what this story will be about. However there is quite a lot to say about the incident, which i hope will make it an entertaining read.

Quite a few years ago Sam had some Limp Bizkit tickets which were free when they played Finsbury Park. I'm not a big fan of them, but I wanted to go along because I suspected Hyde Park girl would be there. As it turns out, she wasn't, so there wasn't much point in me going.
Anyway, I spent a few hours there as quite a few of the Nos night crowd were there. However something happened that afternoon which had quite serious repercussions.
Yvonne and myself were messing about, I'm not even sure what it was about, but I then jokingly threatened to throw my beer over her. I never would, because, well I just wouldn't throw a drink over someone. She then kicked me square in the bollocks. I have been punched and even kicked there before, and this time was no different. It was as painful as it always is, but then after a minute or so, the pain goes and you're ok.
I decided to go a little while after that. Not because I was in pain or anything, but I wasn't bothered about seeing Limp Bizkitm and there was a house party back in Stevenage I wanted to go to.
When I got home, I went for a piss and noticed one of my testicles was looking bigger than usual and quite red. I was natually quite worried by this, so i got some ice and tried to reduce the swelling. It didn't do much to help and I was late for the party so I left it.

The next morning is where things got bad. I must have been in some discomfort when i woke up. I'm not sure if it was the pain I felt first, or the image of a big purple testicle. But i was now seriously freaking out. My cousin had an incident as a child where he twisted a testicle and had to have it removed, so seeing what mine looked like, all sorts of fears were running through my head.
I knew that I needed to talk to Dad, but he had gone out somewhere, and Mum was the only one home. I told her I needed to talk to Dad, and she tried to clal him, but he'd left his phone at home.
Mum was now very worried and wanted to know what was up. She kept asking, and I didn't want to say, and then I was actually almost in tears. She asked if I'd got a girl pregnant, to which I said 'no', and then she said something I honestly could not believe, but actually made me laugh. She didn't even ask... she said 'You've killed someone!'. I then had to tell her what had happened, and a few minutes after that Dad walked in. I showed him and he took me straight to the hospital.

This is where things got embarrassing. I had to tell the receptionist what was wrong with me, and tried to say so quietly so other patients didn't hear, but I'm sure several must have. It was also embarrassing because people probably wondered why i was kicked there. Did they suspect I'd tried to rape someone or something?
Then it was a whole day spent in the hospital waiting. The first doctor I saw was a GP and he checked it out, which also hurt somewhat. He said that there was probably very little to worry about and that it's jsut badly bruised and the testicle didn't move in on itself quick enough and was therefore bruised.
A bit later, and two other doctors came to see me. I'm guessing one or possibly both of them were junior doctors as they didn't seem to know so much. One even said to me that it's possible the testicle had died, and if that was the case, it'd just shrivel up and could be left there. This did not fill me with confidence, and made me worry a lot more. I certainly don't think he should even have said that.
A little while later I saw another doctor. Now this doctor scared the hell out of me. The reason he scared me is because he was the spitting image of soemone I know. This person I know looks a bit like a serial killer and is very odd, although still a nice guy. Anyway, seeing his face made me think 'oh my god it's Brian!'. He also examined me, and I honestly have to say that I have never been in so much pain when he did. He bascially prodded around my testicles, and to start with it was very painful, but I kept my mouth tightly shut. Then there was a point he did something and I had to scream out, echoing across the entire ward. I remember seeing Dad wincing in pain after that too.
So after having had several Doctors and Nurses checking me out, finally a doctor from the Urology department was free to come and check me out. We'd been there about seven hours by this point, waiting on this guy to turn up. He checked me over and confirmed what the GP had said and that it should be ok. He was tempted to keep me in overnight, but I wanted to go home. I got given painkillers and a jock strap to keep it supported and was told to come back the next day.
The next day I had to have a scan. It was the same scan machine they use on pregnant women, except it was used on my testicles, which was very odd. So, yet more people seeing my testicles, but they confirmed that it was healthy in there, just badly bruised.

I had to take a few weeks off work, because I couldn't walk. It was very painful, and trying to sleep was very difficult indeed. As the weeks went by the swelling went down, and the colour gradually became less purple (althoguh at one point it had gone almost completely black).
To this day I still don't think I've ever been in that much pain, or as embarrassed. I showed a picture of it to several people, as I wasn't as embarrassed about that. In the end I think going through the pain i did, i really didn't care who'd seen or touched it. As stated earlier though, the fact that people must think I'd done something to have been kicked in the testicles is what I found the most embarrassing.

Spike finds a scooter

I've been lost many times in my life. Sometimes I have been sober and sometimes I have been drunk. On this recent occasion I was very drunk.
I went to my friend Cloddys barbeque in Muswell Hill. As I can get a train direct to Alexandra Palace and am never checked for tickets on that route, I decided to jump the train and walk from there. Unfortunately it was a bit further than I thought, and walking there took a good half an hour.
The barbeque was ok, but most people left reasonably early. My last direct train was around 1am, so I decided to wait until then. Cloddy was however very ill after drinking quite a lot of wine and Sambuca, so she went to bed and I was left chatting to her housemate Baz.
I knew that I had to give myself half an hour to walk back, so I left the house at around 12:20 and made my way back. Unfortunately I don't know where I went wrong, but I soon noticed that where I was walking didn't look like the road I had walked along earlier that day. I then passed some shops and saw laying on the ground a little push scooter. It looked in pretty new condition so I decided I should take it. I knew that time was ticking and I needed to get to the station to catch my last train and I figured that this mode of transport would help me get there quicker. It was amazingly good fun as there were lots of hills around that area which I was able to scoot down. It was a bit wobbly though and I had to keep putting my foot on the ground to steady myself incase I fell off.
As much fun as riding this scooter was though I was still unsure where exaclty I was, then I saw two young girls. I asked them if they knew the way to Alexandra Palace station, to which they told me to go through a park. I knew I'd not been that way earlier and was feeling quite lost. I carried on anyway and walked through some woods, but had no idea where I was. I tried calling a few people such as Alex and Sarah, to which I had no reply so I just left them voicemails. Milky actually answered, but didn't seem to be much help, and Maddie did try to give me directions, but they weren't much use with me not knowing where I was.

I decided to walk back the way I came, now knowing that I was very unlikely to make my train. The two girls I had originally asked for directions from had now gone, so I was actually getting quite worried.
I then decided I needed to take drastic action and tried flagging down cars who might be able to drive me to the station in time. I must have attempted to flag down about six or seven, but not one of them stopped. Maybe the scooter put them off and they decided to ignore me. I now knew I had no chance of making it to my train in time, so I decided to scoot around the streets on my new toy, as I didn't know what else to do. Then I noticed an amazingly cute girl called Lisa walking towards me. Pulling up on my scooter I asked her for directions. She informed me that I was nowhere near where I thought, but said she'd walk with me some of the way so I could find my way. I chatted to her for a bit and showed her some magic, which in my drunken state still seemed to go smoothly. We finally made it to the road I knew and we said goodbye, but not before asking for her Facebook.
I scooted my way back to the station whereby I knew I had a very long wait for the first train. I decided to call Maddie again to tell her I made it to the station, to which she told me to get in a taxi and I could crash there.

Maddie sent me a text with the number of a local taxi firm and I ordered one. A few minutes later a taxi pulled up, but I was unsure if it was a real taxi, it certainly didn't look like it. I spent some time talking to him asking if he was the cab I had ordered, and he insisted that he was. So I got in the car and started the journey to Walthamstow. He insisted that I paid him £25 straight up, which I found odd and was now seriously doubting if he was the taxi I'd ordered.
I then received a phonecall from a taxi driver asking where I was and that he was waiting for me outside the station. I then knew I must have been in an illegal minicab and was actually quite frightened. What if he'd planned to kidnap me or murder me?
He then asked me what I did, to which I told him I was a magician. He was then insisting I show him some magic, which was a bit hard considering he was driving, but he was very insistant. So I told him when we stopped I'd show him a trick.
We finally arrived at Maddies road and I then showed him some magic. I did try to get some money back for doing so, but he didn't agree to it. He was amazed by the trick and actually thought magic was real. He was then asking me if his family would be ok, and if his sons would get good jobs etc. I told him that I had to go, and promptly left the cab. Phew, I was almost safe!
I made it to Maddies place and we sat up chatting for a few hours whilst drinking some rum.
here are some pictures of me riding my scooter :)

Spikes Grandad

Apart from my immediate family, the rest of the family I don't consider myself to bond with all that well. I get on with them, and I still love them, but I am very different to them and as a child was so shy that I'd barely speak to any of them. There was one exception though, and that was my Grandad on Dads side. He died about eight years ago now, but it really doesn't seem that long.
He'd had a stroke and was taken to hospital. That was the last time I saw him. He hated it there, and one night he had gotten up to try to escape, but he fell over and hit his head. A nurse attended him by putting a plaster on his head, but didn't report it in an incident book, and didn't check for concussion. That night he died. After the postmortem it was revealed that it's very likely concussion was the cause of death.

Quite a few people attended the funeral which was at his local church, but it was only Dad and myself who went with the coffin to the crematorium. It was a very strange feeling there. I didn't cry at the church or crematorium, as I find it very hard to cry.
I certainly felt a stronger bond between Dad and myself, and I did like the fact that it was just us two who saw him off properly. I know Dad was very upset, and it was a strange feeling knowing that after all the years, it was now me who was there for him.

I have to admit, I was still often very shy around Grandad, but I did look up to him a lot. Mainly because he was totally bonkers. He would sit in a corner smoking a pipe and not really say much, but when he did talk, he'd pretend to be stupid for laughs, which always worked.
He had some odd ways, and in later life the main thing he'd eat would be Jam sandwiches while he sat and watched 'Home and Away'.
Although he's dead, and I don't believe in an afterlife, I like to think that he still lives on through me in a way. I guess I am now the nutty one in the family, and now that my confidence has grown, they all seem to be aware of that. He was always one for the ladies as well as being silly. I think I've certainly taken on some of his traits though, which although others may not, I consider to be a good thing.
I do miss Grandad, and I do wish I'd spoken to him more and gotten to know him better. It was very rare I saw a serious side to him, although I know there must have been. I know he was at the battle of Dunkirk, and then went off to Burma to fight against the Japanese. He never spoke about it though.
I hope he knew that he was someone I looked up to. I never really showed that I did though, but I know Grandma now knows that I did, which I guess is a good thing.

Spike and Toffee

We've never been a family to have had many pets. There was of course the fish which I accidently killed. Then there was also Tigger the cat, but she had to be given to my Grandma a couple of years after I was born, as Mum became allergic to her.
The only other pet we had was a Hamster we named Toffee due to being a toffee like colour. Toffee was a great pet who was easy to look after. We were often unsure of the sex, but after noticing two large lumps on his back one day, we took him to the vet. That was when we realised they were just his testicles and there was nothing wrong with him.
Toffee did live quite a long life for a hamster, I think it was a good three to four years. I have to admit that I was useless at handling him, I'm useless with animals and always worried he'd bite me. Howeve I don't think he ever bit anyone, he was a very nervous hamster and just wee'd all the time.
We got him one of those hamster balls so that he could walk around the house in it. The problem was that he was shit scared of it. Whenever we tried to put him in it, he'd shake uncontrollably and wee himself.
I don't think Toffee ever really got the hang of the wheel in his cage either. He wouldn't sit inside it and then run, he would climb up the side of the cage, hang on and spin the top of the wheel with his front paw. It was pretty damn impressive to watch.
I'll always remember the day that Toffee died. It was on a Christmas Eve. Charlottes web was on tv, and I'd gone to feed Toffee and change his water. I knew instantly he was dead, I'm not sure why I knew, but I just had a feeling. A few hours later Mum thought it was odd that he'd not made any noise, and his food hadn't been touched, that's when we knew for sure he was dead.
So, being winter and very cold and frozen outside, Dad got a pick axe out to dig a hole for Toffee and then burried him. Mum was in floods of tears and really upset over Toffee dying. Claire and myself, we weren't really all that bothered which I think really annoyed Mum, I think she felt we should have been more upset. We were then banned from having any more pets.

Spike spends time in a shed

As I hated secondary school so much, I'd often skive quite a lot. Now this wasn't an easy task as our form tutor was quite strict when it came to absence, and a note from a parent was always needed after returning to school.
Well, when I was actually ill, or feigned being ill, my mum would of course write me a note. Quite often she would write one, but then the next day I'd still be unwell, so she'd then write me another to explain why I'd be absent for more than one day. When this happened, I'd keep the first note hidden in a drawer so that I could use it at a later date.
So over the years I aquired several spare notes which I'd use to explain my absense when I had skived school. There was however one other problem. Sometimes my mum would pop home from work at lunchtimes to drop off some shopping or hang out some washing. Therefore it wasn't safe for me to stay inside the house all day, so I needed to find somewhere to hide during lunch hours.
The best place I could think of was the garden shed, although there was still a worry she'd spot the door unlocked if she was hanging out washing. So I figured out a way to get into the shed with the door still locked.
I'd unlock the door, walk inside the shed and open the side window. Then I'd come back out of the shed, lock the door and then climb through the tiny window into the shed. I'd then sit in there between 12pm and 2pm until I knew it was safe to climb back out of the window and go back into the house.
I didn't really do anything in the shed, I just used to sit there thinking, and it was often quite uncomfortable and sometimes cold depending on the time of year. I guess this sorta shows how much I hated school, that I'd be prepared to sit in a shed for two hours.
Anyway it always worked a treat and I was never discovered.

Spike and a rainy day

I have lots of memories of my childhood. At a guess I'd say my earliest memories are from around the age of three years of age when I used to go to a mothers and todlers group along with Dave. I do also have memories of being pushed in a buggy, but I'm not sure how old I was then.
Anyway, there is one random memory that has stuck with me, and it surprises me that it's stuck with me, as it was just a random day where nothing all that important happened.

I'd guess I was about five at the time, but it's a memory I do enjoy looking back on from time to time, as it makes me wish I was a kid again.
Claire and myself were normally looked after by childminders after school, due to Mum and Dad both working full time, but on this day Mum had the day off.
It was pooring down with rain and we were in the town centre where we'd met up with Debra. I remember we were all soaking wet and running through puddles to get to shelter.
Mum then took me into the toy shop we always used to go to and said I could have a Star Wars toy. The figures used to be lined up above the counter, and I looked at them trying to decide which one to pick. I almost picked a green pig guard, which I'd always wanted, but then I spotted Darth Vader, so I remember saying 'I want the black one'. I don't think I was too sure how to pronounce his name at the time.
The old man working in the shop got it down for me and Mum paid him.
We then left the shop, said goodbye to Debra and made our way home.
When we got in, we took off our socks which were soaking wet and put them infront of the fire to dry them. This all happened while watching the Sooty show on TV.

That's all the memory, but I remember quite a few details from the day. I think mainly because it was a good day, as Mum had the day off and I got a Darth Vader figure. Also I remember how snug I felt when we got home warming ourselves by the fire. It's like the feeling you get when you hear the rain on the window and you're inside safe and dry.

Spike and the urinating tree

I believe that I was in the second year of junior school when we took a school trip to a local church. We went there to do rubbings of grave stones with paper and a wax crayon. Thinking about it now, it was quite a morbid activity for eight year olds, especially as some of the graves weren't all that old.
To this day I can still not explain exactly what caused it, but at the time I believed that it was a squirrel taking a piss.
Basically, there was a tree outside the church, and a few of us noticed that water started to come out of a hole in the middle of tree. I think even if I saw the same thing happen at the age I am now I'd be amazed. The water wasn't drizzling out, but squirting out quite far. Then it stopped.
We then found some small stones and began throwing them into the hole, and once again the water started squirting out. We were convinced that it was a squirrel in the hole, and when we threw a stone, it'd wee. I honestly don't think it was a squirrel now, but I have no idea how a jet of water could squirt out of the tree the way it did. I just remember being in hysterics at the time, as well as befuddlesd.
I have passed the tree many times since, and have thrown stones into the hole, but unfortunatly the squirrel who was taking a piss must have moved trees.

Spike is caught red handed

I imagine most people reading this won't find this very funny. I guess it was a case of having to have been there to appreciate the funnyness of this story.
I was in my third year of junior school and being taught by Mrs Taylor at the time, who was actually kinda hot. Anyway, we were doing some sort of art activity, possibly painting a poster or something, but it really wasn't all that interesting.
Dave was sat next to me and he was always a bad influence on me, and I'm fairly sure it was him who started it, but we began to paint our hands red with the paint. We must have been at it for a good ten minutes and each of us had a hand totally painted red. Mrs taylor then came over and began to shout at us, which made all the rest of the class look round to see what we'd been up to.
A fellow class mate then shouted out 'I guess you could say you've caught them red handed!'. This then lead to much laughter from the rest of the class and Mrs Taylor herself. We were then told to go into the toilets to wash it off and get back to work.
I'm not entirely sure how to end this post as the story is very short and I can't think of any sort of witty line to end it with.

Spikes memorable dates

I've not really been on that many dates with women, but the ones I have been on have all been fairly memorable. So I thought I'd list a few of my memorable first dates on here and what happened on them.
Obviously there was the time I met up with crazy Emma, which I guess could be classed as a date even though I took her to Pages Bar along with my mates. But I have already covered that story in an earlier entry.

Most of my dates used to be from chatting to someone online first. One girl I met up with in London one weekend. I honestly don't remember her name name, but so that I can describe the events better we'll call her 'Gertrude'.
As I love Hyde Park so much and it was summer, I decided to take Gertrude to Hyde Park, but this was a very very hot day. I don't think she was all that amazed by the park so I suggested a nearby pub we could go to. The thing is, I'm used to walking a lot and this pub was a good fifteen minutes walk. We walked across the park to the pub and I could see she wasn't used to walking very far as I remember she kept asking how much further it was.
We finally got to the pub, I bought her a drink and we found a nice secluded booth to sit and chat in. After about ten minutes she said she wasn't feeling too well, and I was thinking 'typical, she's not enjoying my company and is going to feign being ill so she can escape.'.
She then asked where the toilets were, and I directed her to them. Then a few minutes later she came back, pretty much fainted and puked all over the table. It definitely wasn't the alcohol as she'd only had a few sips of it, so it must have been the walking and the heat. Anyway I then made sure she was ok, got her some water and got her to lay down on the seat in the booth while I got a cloth and cleaned up the puke.
Surprisingly the date went really well after that. She continued laying down to recover and we chatted and seemed to get on really well. After leaving the pub we went back to the park and we kissed a lot, which is pretty gross thinking about it now as she probably still had remains of puke stuck to her teeth.
I met up with her again a couple of times afterwards, but there really wasn't anything there, so we then just lost touch.


The first girl I met off the internet was a girl called Sarah. She never had a picture but described herself as slim, dark hair and very sexy, so I thought I was in for meeting up with a definite stunner.
As it was my first date with someone from the internet I took Trigger along with me, and she invited a friend of hers.
We'd arranged to meet by Tottenham Court Road tube station, and I remember my horror when I saw her. She was far from slim and sexy, but she'd seen me and I couldn't back out.
It was Trigger who chatted to her first as I was shit scared, but I did try to make a bit of an effort. She suggested heading to The Intrepid Fox, the original one on Wardour St which I never liked, I much prefer the new one under Centre Point.
Anyway as well as feeling quite uncomfortable in this pub, Trigger and myself were stuck with two scary women. I was half expecting Sarahs head to spin around 360 degrees like in The Exorcist and to tell my mother sucks cocks in hell. She also claimed she'd slept with Marilyn Manson, which I'm not entirely sure I believe. Anyway I knew we had to get out of there, so Trigger pretended he wasn't feeling too well and we left.
I then tried to avoid contacting her, but I started receiving withheld phonecalls from a girl in a croaky evil style voice saying 'I'm going to kill you'. I'm positive it was her.
The last time I heard from her she told me she was in The Red Lion in Stevenage (which scared me as I go there a lot), and was definitely going to pull a guy called Colin who drinks there. Well the odd thing is that Colin is pretty much my brother in law, so she really was full of it.


Faith was an interesting first date. I remember meeting her straight after work and took her to Ben Crouch's. I had intended to get my last train home that night as I had work the next day, but the date went well. We ended up staying out for hours, and then going to O'Neils until kicking out time. After that we wandered the streets of London then tried to sneak into Hyde Park but were worried we'd be caught by the night patrol men in there.
We eventually ended up in Knightsbridge about 4am and were both quite horny, so I suggested going back to my place. We flagged down a cab and he said it'd be at least £100 back to Stevenage. However as I'm 'Spike', I talked him down and he agreed to only charging us £50, to which Faith paid most of the money, bonus!
I met up with her a couple of times after that, but yet again it didn't really go anywhere. But I still love the fact that I have been with a girl named Faith.

There have been other dates I could list, but they are a bit boring, and some I'm not sure could really be classed as dates as they have been more a case of inviting a girl out to some event where my mates are also at. As well as Crazy Emma, there was Boring Emma, but as the name suggests there isn't much I can write about her.
On the whole I think the worst date was with Psycho Sarah, but all my other first dates always seem to go pretty well, its the follow up dates which seem to bomb, I'm just never sure why. Hopefully the next girl I get to take out will be different. Watch this space!

Spikes most stupid mistake

I have done a lot of stupid things in my life. Some on purpose which I have then regretted, and some without realising. The most stupid thing was a few years ago, and I don't think that I could possibly do anything more stupid in the future. I find it a bit easier to talk about now, but still prefer the avoid it being mentioned. I am including it in here as it was something that had a big effect on my life, for bad and actually some good too.
I was going out with a girl called Nicola. When I say going out, this seemed to change daily. One minute we were, then we weren't, and it messed up my head a lot.
I remember that she'd call it off one day, then the next day start talking about having kids with me, which really was quite a head fuck, especially as I had fallen in love with her. I don't know why the hell I fell for her, as we didn't have a great deal in common, also we were very different people. I also don't think she intentionally meant to mess up my head, but she did, and it hurt a lot too. My heart was quite a mess, one minute it felt amazing knowing I was with her, the next it was torn to pieces when it seemed as if she didn't want to be.

After a while it got a bit too much, so on a Monday afternoon I went into the medicine cabinet and overdosed on Anadin Extra. I honestly can't remember how many I took now, but it was over ten and under 20, which I found out later really doesn't have much of an effect.
I'd also written out some letters. One for my family, which I also included contact numbers to contact my friends for the funeral. Then I also wrote a letter to Nicola. It's still very hard to explain why I took the tablets and also went to the extent of writing the letters. Did I want to die? I honestly don't think so, and I think I knew I wouldn't, yet in my head I think I wanted to pretend I would. It was kind of as if I wasn't in my body at the time, as if it was someone else and I was just there watching.
I don't think it was an attention thing as such, but more so it would hurt Nicola, which does sound pretty bad, but she hurt me a lot and I guess I wanted her to feel some pain. Still, I really wasn't myself, I'd definitely gone a bit mad in the head which definitely must have been from having had my head and heart completely messed up.
Anyway I called Nicola and told her what I'd done, which she was definitely freaked out by. I was then worried she'd call an ambulance or something, so I decided to leave the house and hide in the bus stop up the road. I was also quite shocked that the tablets hadn't made me fall asleep by this point.
Nicola then turned up in her car with her mum, so I ran over and gave her the letter and tried to walk off, but her mum got out of the car and came after me. She then said I should get in the car and they'd take me to the hospital. On the way I tried to call Claire, I didn't want to call mum or dad, but she was out decorating her new house before she moved in.

When we got to the hospital Nicola stayed in the car and also kept my phone incase Claire called back, then I went into A and E with her mum. That was the last time I ever saw Nicola, which I know isn't the best way to part ways with someone. I am glad I've not seen her since as I really wouldn't want to. I think it's fairly likely she's seen me around town at some point, but I am always in my own world and never notice people when out and about.
I felt very embarassed when I had to tell the receptionist I'd taken an overdose, but I do remember she seemed quite concerned. There was then quite a long silent wait while I sat waiting next to Nicolas mum, who I know wasn't very happy with what I'd done. She also went out once in a while to check on Nicola, who was apparently in quite a state, even more so after having read the letter.
I was then called in to see a phychiatrist to discuss what happened. I was open with him, and I told him how I felt very stupid, and also about Nicola. He said that I definitely wasn't crazy and that it was just a cry for help, so I went and sat back down, but Nicolas mum wasn't there as she was checking on Nicola again.

Ten minutes after being sat there by myself (which I have to admit I didn't really enjoy being alone right then) I saw my mum running in looking around and looking worried sick. I called out to her and she came and sat with me. Nicolas mum had used my mobile to call her, and I was bloody glad that she was there. However she was worried sick, not just at the time but for weeks, even months afterwards. I then got called in again and had to have a blood sample taken so they could see if the tablets had had any effect. when I came out Nicolas mum was back, so I got my phone back from her and she left. Then not long after that, Dad turned up, and he was certainly a lot better than Mum, he was a lot more calm and reassuring.
I was still wondering why I wasn't feeling sleepy yet, infact if anything I was buzzing from the tablets by now and wouldn't stop talking, telling them that I was ok.

A little bit later Claire turned up, and all four of us were sat there, and I guess that's when i realised how much my family do care for me. I certainly hadn't thought about the impact it'd have on them, and they were all quite worried.
I was finally called back in and told that my blood came back ok, and I was injected with a clear fluid, which i have no idea what it was, but am guessing it was just a precaution to make sure I was ok. I was also totally buzzing and hyper by that point. When I got home and checked the box for Anadin Extra, I noticed that they have caffeine in, which is why I didn't fall asleep and why I was buzzing so much.

I logged onto msn and told a few people what I'd done. It was good to talk to people about it, although I only told a couple to start with. It was a few weeks before most of my friends found out about it, and there seemed to be mixed reactions. Some people I expected would be great with it found it hard to know what to say, where as others I least expected to be good dealing with it were surprisingly better to talk to. A lot of people would try to change the conversation I think because they assumed that'd be the best thing to help me feel better. Yet what surprised me was Dave. He's my oldest mate, I've known him since I was 3 days old, but he's certainly not someone you'd assume would be great in that sort of situation. yet he asked me questions about it, which is what helped the most.
I think that most people were surprised, as they see me as happy and care free all the time. Anyway I learnt that I have a lot of true friends who do genuinely care about me, and they did help me get over things, although it did take time.

I think it was a good year if not two before I properly got over Nicola. I know I hurt her more than I've ever hurt anyone else, which I do still feel awful about, but I am hoping she's since forgiven me and pretty much forgotten me as I have her.
I still feel very silly for what I did, and I still feel embarrassed and quite guilty over it all. I did come out of it a slightly stronger person though, and I know I'll never do anything so stupid again.

Spike and the balaclava

Not long after having enterted Junior school and when it was getting close to winter, my mum came home with a present for me. It was a blue balaclava. At the time I'd never heard of one, but she explained that if I wore it on my head that it'd keep me warm.
I think this was possibly one of the worst things that my mum could ever have bought for me as a child, as I got very attached to it. During the winter it kept me warm, however no other kids seemed to wear one. I looked like Kenny from South Park. The thing is though, as I had become quite attached to it, and as I also used to chew the part that went round my chin, I didn't want to stop wearing it.
Maybe it was a comfort thing, maybe it was also the fact that i felt a bit more mysterious and like a superhero, I'm not quite sure.
My fate was then sealed, I was then known as the odd child in the balaclava. I wore it all through the year, and when my first one had worn out, my mum bought me another one.
I wasn't picked on as such for wearing it, but all the other children certainly thought I was very odd, especially when wearing it in the summer.
After about two years I gradually wore it less and less, and eventually not at all. I have learnt one thing from this though. If I ever have children I am not going to buy them a balaclava.

Spikes most fun tube journey

I have been on many amusing journeys on the London underground. The majority I have been drunk on, and quite a lot have been on pub crawls. The journey I have found to be the funniest to date was a good few years ago and surprisingly wasn't a pub crawl.
It happened way back when I had only recently begun drinking at Nos nights in Pages Bar. I don't think I'd known Milky all that long at the time, but Sarah had bought him a cuddly toy cow (the cow from Cow and Chicken) because his name was Milky.
Milky decided to name the cow 'Moo', which I don't think he really put much thought into, yet he still loved the cow. Much fun was had with the cow in the pub and by the time a group of us had got on the tube back to Sarah's, the cow was losing stuffing and had a good few tears.
So when we first got on the tube Milky decided Moo needed CPR, which seemed to amuse many of our fellow passengers. We then burst into song (I am not sure what the song was as it was quite a long time ago), and whilst the rest of us were singing, Milky was introducing Moo to all the other passengers. Bear in mind that the tube was packed, and he got through lots of different people, getting them to shake Moo's udders and also join in singing. The only person not very happy was a punk who told Milky to 'FUCK OFF', but all the other passengers found it highly amusing and joined in with the singing.
I have never seen anything like it. On pub crawls we always sing on the tube, and sometimes we get strangers to join in singing. This was different, nearly all the tube carriage full of complete strangers were joining in singing with us, it was one of the funniest things I've ever been a part of.
The story does not end there though, everyone was so happy and relaxed that they failed to notice a girl who had been sat in the corner of the tube. She was one of the few who had not been singing, although she had been laughing at the antics. Then as tube stopped at Barons Court tube station, the girl stood up, ran passed Milky and grabbed Moo as she jumped off the train just in time before the doors closed.
The tube went dead silent, it took a good few seconds for everyone to realise what had happened. Poor Moo had been cowknapped, and unfortunately she was never seen again. Milky then fell to the floor and pretended to cry, much to the amusement of the other passengers. It was such a funny and odd tube journey that I'm not sure it'll ever be beaten.
Every once in a while I search ebay in the hope of finding the same toy, but I've had no luck. They do have other cuddly toys of it, but it's not quite the same as the one Milky had. I'd love to get hold of one one day to surprise him and see the delight on his face that Moo is not lost. However he'd probably know it wasn't the same one, but in that case I guess he could always call it Moo Two.

Spike meets Dina Carroll

One of my dads oldest friend is a woman named Lynn. She used to be married to one of his best friends from College, but they split up and my dad kept in contact with Lynn rather than her husband.
Since we were quite young we'd often meet up with Lynn and her daughter Sophie, as well as whoever lynn was dating at the time, which have been a couple of different guys over the years.
When we met up we'd often go out for a meal somewhere, such as a Beafeater or Harvester. There was one occasion when we were at a Harvester which had an animatronic Worzel Gummidge and Aunt Sally. I think Sophie, Claire and myself were trying to look up her dress, but as we attempted to do so Worzels Arm fell off, which at the time was hillarious, and thinking about it now I still find it to be so. I think you'd have to have been there to truly appreciate the humour of the situation.
I think the one meal that stands out the most with Lynn, Sophie and I think Adrian was Lynns partner at the time, was at a Beafeater in Cambridge.
We were sat on a big round table when Claire noticed someone she recognised on a table next to us. It was the famous singer Dina Carroll, who at that time was reasonably famous still and still had songs in the charts. What an earth she was doing in a Beafeater I don't know, but it was with either her boyfriend or possibly a date I'm not too sure.
Anyway, as we'd noticed her, there was lots of whispering going on trying to work out if it was actually her. This also involved getting the waitress involved and pointing over to Dina's table. However the nearest person on our table sat next to Dina was my dad, and the waitress had assumed we were pointing to him for some reason.
Ten minutes later the other waitresses came out along with our one, and they had a cake with them and a lit candle in it, singing happy birthday to my dad. The waitress had assumed we were trying to tell her it was my dads birthday. We then of course had to act as if it was, so the rest of us on the table decided to join in singing 'Happy Birthday', whilst also laughing like complete nutters.
When Dina was alone at her table Claire then went up and asked her very nicely for an autograph, which she did of course give to her. Sophie was then a little upset she didn't get one, so my dad leaned over and started chatting to Dina to get Sophie one too. This was definitely the most embarassing part of the whole meal, as my dad was then telling her how he often played her records due to him being a DJ, and lots of other random things.
Anyway, I think it has to be said that although I didn't speak to her directly (being a shy quiet kid at the time), Dina Carroll is certainly one of the nicest celebrities I've ever encountered, she was really nice and chatty. It's a shame she's still not making any records, well none that I'm aware of.

Spike and a family death.

I've not put any serious stories on here so far, and have been considering doing so for a while, and after this one I will do some more. I think the funny and silly stories are much more entertaining, but this was kind of a big event that happened in my life.
This is about the death of my uncle Barry who was my mums sisters husband, so not a blood relative. I was thirteen when he died, which was unfortunately the last time I saw my cousin Phillip too.

It may be surprising for people to hear that I was a fairly quiet child, at school and at family events. So I never really spoke to Barry. I did get on with my cousins Phillip and Sarah though, although Phillip was always a trouble maker and blaming Claire and myself for any mischief he'd been up to. Sarah was always fairly quiet, and she still is to this day. She still lives with my aunty Kim, but after Barrys death Phillip wanted no more to do with my aunty and went to live with Barrys side of the family.

Kim had been having an affair, which Barry had eventually found out about when Kim walked out on him and the kids. She did move back in quite soon after, but things were very tense between them. I remember a few times seeing them together and things never seemed quite right. I know there were a few times that Barry went a bit strange, which I think resulted in Kim leaving him again along with the kids this time.
I think after that, Barry found it hard, as not only had he lost his immediate family, but also our side of the family too, which I believe he always prefered to his own.
Phillip did eventually move back in with Barry, but Sarah stayed with Kim, and it seemed as if Barry was getting over the break up.

I am fairly sure it was a Tuesday night when the phone rang in the early hours. I could hear my mum crying, and Claire came into my room saying 'I think someone has died'. I didn't think much of it as I was tired, so went back to sleep. In the morning I found out that Barry had hung himself the day before.
He'd bought a new lock for the door and changed it before Phillip got home from school, so he'd not find him dead.
I know he'd left notes for Phillip and Sarah and had smoked one last cigarette before doing it. So he must have been pretty sure that it's what he wanted to do. I am also fairly sure it was sudden and he did it correctly as when he was found he'd been dead for hours.

Phillip arrived home from school and found that his key wouldn't open the door. After a few attempts he went to a neighbour for help. The neighbour ended up getting a ladder and going in through a top window, where he found the body. Phillip was obviously devastated, and ran over to Kims house shouting 'you killed my dad'.

I went to school on the Wednesday and was walking to school with Dave. I remember I laughed when I said 'my uncle killed himself'. I don't cry easily, and although quite shocked and a little upset I couldn't cry. Yet a small laugh came out, not because I found it funny, I guess more because it was still quite shocking and upsetting, and some sort of emotion had to come out. Mum and Dad went up to see Kim that day, and I believe she was in quite a bad state as is understandable.

The funeral was also quite dramatic, as you'd probably expect. His side of the family blaming Kim certainly didn't help, I know some said 'you'll all be dancing on his grave'.
I know that when the cars came to pick people up, Phillip was in a car with Nan and he said something along the lines of 'you never cared about him', which I know upset her.
I also remember when we got to the crematorium and the service began. Kim was in floods of tears, it was awful. Definitely the most upsetting funeral I've ever been to.
Later we went back to Kims house, and Barrys family went back to his old house. We just sat and talked, whereas at Barrys house there was a big party and they were all drunk. What was that about us dancing on his grave?

The funeral was the last time I saw Phillip, which is a shame as we did get on when he wasn't getting up to no good. I still see Sarah quite often though, and she still sees Phillip, but he still wnats nothing to do with our side of the family. Kim ended up marrying the man she cheated on Barry with, although I still don't class him as my proper uncle, to me Barry was.

Spike and the greenhouse

I'd guess that I must have been about eight or nine when a street near me 'Longcroft' was going to be demolished and have new houses built on it. Chimpy used to live in Longcroft, so we'd often hang around in his garden.
One day the whole gang of us were there, Dave, Dan, Ben, Neil and myself, along with lots of others I didn't really know too well. Chimpy was inside eating dinner, but the rest of us were running riot in his garden.
A few houses down, there was a huge greenhouse in a garden, and some of the other kids began throwing stones at it claiming that it was going to be knocked down in a few weeks time anyway.
To start with I just threw a few small stones, but it was such a great feeling when there was a 'SMASH' from one that I'd thrown, so I then found bigger ones to throw. Chimps garden was chaos, kids running around throwing stones, it was like a warzone with the stones flying threw the air and constant smashing of windows from the greenhouse.
It all came to a sudden hault when the owner of the greenhouse came running into the garden shouting. So I did the only thing I could do, I ran, and surprisingly I made it all the way home without being caught. Unfortunatly the others got quite a bollocking from the bloke.
Dan told his mum about it, who in turn told Daves mum, so they all got into trouble when they got home. Luckily my parents never found out. However, Ben (Dans brother) was still back at Longcroft with some other kids, and Dan was under strict orders from his mum to bring him home, so Dave and myself joined him on his retrieval mission.
This time when we got to Chimpys garden, there was no escape. We were greeted by a policeman who then proceeded to gather all the kids round and gave us all quite a stern warning.
I did feel really quite bad about this, especially when we were told that the owner of the greenhouse had planned to have it moved to his new garden when he moved out.
I know that when I got home that night I was very quiet and worried that somehow my parents would find out what I'd done. Days passed and nothing was said, so I thoought I was safe. That was until  a few weeks later my dad had his watch stolen when he'd been playing football. A policeman came to the house to take a statement, and it was the same policeman who had given me a warning. I ran up to my room and closed the door worried sick he'd have recognised me and said something. Thankfully he didn't.
A good few years afterwards I did tell my parents about it. They weren't shocked and my dad said he did similar things in his youth, I think he was even proud of me for being a bit of a bugger.

Spike and the butterflies

I often have quite weird dreams. Not only do I have weird dreams, but I have been known to sleep with my eyes open, talk in my sleep and sometimes sleepwalk. The worst thing I get though are night hallucinations. Basically I'll be awake (although still sort of asleep, but my eyes will be open and I'll often be sat up) and see things. I quite often see people standing by my bed, once I even saw a dead Jamaican man in my bed. I also often see animals, sometimes even objects. Sometimes this can be very frightening and I have to turn on the light and get myself back together for a few minutes before turning off the light and sleeping again.
Apparently you get them due to stress and worry, and I can happily say that I don't get them as much as I did when I was younger, which I guess meant I had a stressful childhood.
When I was very young though it was butterflies I used to see. I'd see them swooping towards me and trying to attack me. I even remember my parents trying to let me sleep in their bed, yet I'd still see them attacking me.
As a result I still hate butterflies today and will do my best to avoid them.
I know there was once a point that Claire told me Maltesers were made from dead butterflies. If this was before my hallucinations it'd explain a lot. If it was afterwards, then she was just mean! I am happy to report that I still eat maltesers though.

Spike starts nursery school

I don't think I ever really enjoyed school. People who say 'The school days are the best years of your life' are talking out of their backside if you ask me.

I remember my first day at Nursery reasonably well considering I was only four. I only had one real friend at that time, which was of course Dave as he lived next door. I was told he would be there the day I started, but unfortunately he wasn't. He went in the afternoon and I went in the morning.
So as soon as my mum left me in this strange room with two nursery nurses and lots of strange children, I cried. I cried for hours and remember the nursery nurses wiping my tears with paper towels. This actually hurt, why couldn't they have found some tissues? I also seemed to be the only child crying.
After I'd finally calmed down (which took some time), I had to join the other children sitting on the carpet. I was told to cross my legs. Now I had never crossed my legs before so I remember not knowing how the heck to do so. The other children seemed to find this quite funny as I stretched my legs out, tried kneeling and several other sitting positions before I finally figured out how to do so.
I had a pretty bad first day and was overjoyed when my mum came to finally take me home. My mum then arranged with Daves mum for us to both go to nursery at the same time, and after that it became a lot better.

One of the best games Dave and myself would play at nursery would involve us being burglars. There was an indoor play house full of pots and pans and various other things in the kitchen area. The girls would play happy families in there, and Dave and myself would sneak in and steal as much as we could and then run away.

 I also met my first girlfriend at nursery. Can I call her my first girlfriend? Maybe not, but Claire still always refers to her as being so.
My favourite colour as a child was orange, I have no idea why really, but for some reason I liked it a lot back then.
There was a girl there called Jody, and you guessed it, she had ginger hair. It was for this reason that I liked her. Looking back now, I think she was actually very pretty too, so I must have had good taste.
Unfortunately when we got into Junior school Jody left to go to another one.
I am fairly sure she remained in Stevenage though. Back when I'd turned eighteen I heard that she was a barmaid in a local pub. I'm not sure if I ever saw her in there as I doubt I'd have recognised her. Yet the person that told me she was working there said she was quite a stunner now. Therefore I must have had good taste.

I suppose nursey was quite fun, and probably the hi-light of my school years. We didn't have to do any work, it was mainly playing with toys, listening to stories and drawing pictures. We then finished at lunchtime and I could go home to watch childrens programmes.

Spike and the dying cat

It must have been around ten years ago now, Claire had moved back home for a while. She'd often go into the garden for a cigarette and had noticed a very skinny and ill looking cat by our backdoor one morning. The cat had remained there all day, and by the evening we decided we should take it to the vets as it looked as if it was dying.
We wrapped it in an old blanket and tried to put it in a box, but it kept jumping out, so I had to let it sit on my lap and reassure it by stroking it as we drove to the vets. The smell was awful, the cat smelt really really bad, but I still began to take a bit of a shine to the poor thing.
When we got to the vet, he checked it over quickly and basically said it had cancer and there was nothing he could do for it but put it down.
I know it sounds silly, but I felt really upset on the way home. I barely knew this cat, but I guess I was hoping the vet would be able to do something and it'd be nursed back to health. So even though I did think the cat may be put down, it still took me a bit by surprise.
There's not much else I can write about this story, but what I find odd is that I was more upset about this cat than I was when my fish died.

Spike meets Emma

Close to ten years ago I used to use Lycos Chat, where I made friends with several different people. One of the people I met was a girl called 'Emma'. I know she had quite a few issues, she was also married aswell as having a boyfriend. Her husband was off fighting in Iraq or some place, so he didn't know about her boyfriend. Anyway, I ended up getting on quite well with Emma and asked her out on a date to which she agreed to.
Now I have to say that it probably wasn't the best date as I took her to meet my mates at Pages bar.
I asked Shibs and Mart if I could bring a girl along and if she could crash over at theirs with me. They agreed, mainly because they didn't think I'd actually bring a girl. I still remember the look on their faces when I walked into the pub with her. It wasn't just their faces though, but pretty much most people I knew, as she was very attractive. It also has to be said that she was a couple years older than me. I was about 21, and she was in her mid twenties at least.
So, although she was a nice and friendly enough woman, she was completely nuts, but not nuts in a good way, nuts in quite an odd and sometimes scary way. She also had a really bad laugh. One of those annoyingly loud and disturbing laughs that sounds like a parrot being strangled.
That night things obviously happened, but I feel that I was taken advantage of by an older attractive woman. I also remember that as it was Shibs and Marts flat we were in, they were quite pissed off with me. Maybe it partly due to the stains on the sheets, but I think more so due to the fact we had the sofa bed and Franz was sleeping on the sofa. When the noise got too much he left the room and slept on the floor in another room, which I did feel a bit bad about.
The good thing about the night is that she had a really good time. I don't think she had many friends, and her family were very protective of her due to her issues. She said it was one of the best nights of her life (probably not due to what happened in Shibs and Marts flat as I wasn't very good back then), and it felt good to have made someone feel good to be alive.
I heard from her a few times after that, but gradually heard less and less from her, which was a bit of a shame. the last I heard from her was exactly ten months later (I remember this as I was slightly worried) when she told me she'd just had a baby. She was previously unable to have children, yet somehow that changed. I'm not sure if the father was her husband or her boyfriend, but I'm sure it can't have been me. Anyway, she was one of the many nutty women I have had a date with. The thing that really stands out about her (apart from the fact she had very large breasts) was the next day when I took her for some food in Wetherspoons. We were sat there talking when I'd said something funny, and then her loud embarassing laugh came out. The whole pub went silent and were just staring at us. Was very embarassing.

Spike and the headless horseman?

Back in junior school, a group of us would often sit around telling stories. Looking back, these stories were awful. Before I get to the story about the headless horseman I am going to tell a story I remember someone telling me at school (please bear in mind that it is ridiculous).

A married couple move into a new flat on the fifth floor, but as they have just moved in they have no food to eat. They are very very hungry and are unsure what to do for food. The husband in this story is called Johnny by the way, which is useful to know for later on.
They then hear a knock on the door, and it's a man. The man takes pity on them and gives them his liver to eat, but warns them not to throw it away.
So Johnny and his wife consider eating the liver when suddenly Johnnys wife finds some sandwiches she'd forgotten about, so they eat them instead and throw the liver in the bin.
That night as they slept, they hear a faint whispering saying "Johnny I'm on the first floor I want my liver back". They decide to ignore it, but then hear it slightly louder this time saying "Johnny I'm on the second floor I want my liver back". They both sit up in bed and then hear it louder, "Johnny I'm on the third floor I want my liver back". They are now getting slightly scared as they hear it quite loud now saying "Johnny I'm on the fourth floor I want my liver back". Then it is really loud "Johnny I'm on the fifth floor I want my liver back!" and then splat! They both die.

So those are the awful types of ghost stories ten year olds at our junior school would tell. However one friend called Russell informed us that nearby where he lived there was the ghost of a headless horseman which he'd apparently seen. He told us where abouts it was, under a bridge, so one weekend Big Dave, Chimpy and myself decided to check it out for a scare.
The area that it was at was always quite an eerie place. It was always foggy there, and it was quite a desolate place near a big field which was always empty and heading towards farmland.
at the time we honestly didn't think we'd see a ghost, but then as we walked under the bridge we heard the sound of horse trods. They were getting closer and closer. This scared the shit out of all three of us, so we did the only thing we could we, we ran away! I don't think I've ever run so fast.
It was then that I looked back to see where the other two were. Chimpy was level with me, but Dave had stopped and was way behind us. Next to Dave was a woman on a horse talking to him. It turns out that it was a common place for people to take their horses out for a walk, and she'd asked Big Dave what the time was.
I did then feel very silly for running away, and god knows what the woman thought of us. We hung out around that area many times afterwards, but we never saw the ghost fo a headless horseman.

Spike encounters many strange people outside Kings Cross.

I spend a lot of my social life in London. Most of my best mates live in London, plus it's a better place to go for a night out than Stevenage.
The only trouble with going out in London is that if I stay out late I have to wait until 6am for my first train home, unless I crash at a friends house.
Therefore there have been many times I've spent an hour or two waiting outside Kings Cross train station for the doors to open to get my train home.
It has to be said that I have met a lot of crazy people on different nights there, some of which have been genuinely quite scary, so here is a list of a few that stood out.

I think the scariest encounter was with a tramp. I was sat down by the doors listening to my mp3 player and minding my own business when suddenly a quite smelly, bearded and dirty looking tramp came and said hello to me. He had with him a lage bag in which he had some cans of beer which he started drinking. Then something took me by complete surprise. He then removed from his bag a large ghetto blaster. I did wonder what a tramp was doing with one, but I think the most disturbing part of this story was when he pressed play. Suddenly blasting out of the speakers I can hear 'You put your left leg in, your left leg out, in out in out and shake it all about'. Yes you've guessed it, he was playing the Hokey Cokey. The thing is, he wasn't just playing it, he was then dancing around with his beer and singing and dancing to it. It was then that I decided to go for a walk to get away from him, and on my return noticing he was still there, I sat by the other set of doors to avoid the lunatic.

The next odd person I met outside Kings Cross seemed slightly less scary, but it was a very odd experience. I had been on a pub crawl and was sat there dressed as 'The Doctor (Doctor Who)'. Then a tall skinheaded black guy came over to me and started talking, despite the fact there were several other people waiting outside. Why they always choose to talk to me, I'll never know.
Anyway he was talking to me for a while, and I was being polite by talking back to him as he seemed like a nice enough bloke. However what really stands out is the fact he was telling me I could make a difference. I am convinced he was a time traveller from the future who was trying to set me on the right path to change the world. He basically told me that I wasn't going to be Prime Minister but that I would make a difference and had to believe in myself. I didn't tell him anything about myself, so why he was so adament that I make a change and become someone special was very odd. For a while afterwards though it did give me quite a boost to become a better person.

 So, after meeting a crazy Hokey Cokey'ing tramp and a time traveller, could I meet anyone stranger? Yes!
Yet again after quite a heavy night out in London I was waiting outside Kings Cross. This time I met an attractive blonde girl. She was foreign, although I can't for the life of me remember where she was from. She said she'd been at the venue I'd been to that night, but I don't recall having seen her there.
Anyway we got chatting about music, she used her iphone to add me to facebook and we swapped numbers. Now this is the weird thing..... the doors to Kings Cross opened and I checked the board to see where my train was. I saw the girl walk off to the left, so after having looked at the board I went to go and say bye to her. Well I saw her walking away and she dissapeared around a corner. When I got to this corner though, she'd gone. She had completely vanished through a wall. I found this a bit weird at the time, but it wasn't until the next day that I realised I now had no facebook request from her, and her number in my phone had dissapeared. So, either I was even more drunk that I first thought and was hallucinating, or she was a ghost. I'm guessing she was a ghost.

The last slightly odd person I met outside Kings Cross was a foreign man. Again there were several people sat outside, but it was me he came up to rather than anyone else. Why?
Anyway he seemed quite sad, so I felt a bit bad for him and engaged in conversation. It turned out that his wife was in hospital pregnant, but I don't think she was too well. I think he was also in danger of being deported from what I remember. He didn't speak great English so it was hard to understand all that he said. He was then saying he could set me up with his sister who he showed me a picture of. I did of course say she was very attractive, but in all honesty I'm not sure she was my type.
There then came a point where he was flashing his money around. He got out his wallet and he had loads of fifity pound notes in there. I was trying to tell him to keep it hidden or someone would be likely to mug him, I hope he understood what I was trying to say.
I then made the mistake of telling him I was a magician and showed him a trick. He then seemed to love me even more and was hugging me and taking pics of him with his arm around me on his phone. When the doors finally opened I said goodbye and wished him and his wife well, and he went his own way.

So those are the four strangest people. There have been many other people I've met outside the station, infact most times I am there I get talking to someone. I'm actually a bit gutted that it has been some time since I've met a weirdo there, but who knows who I might meet next time.

Spike and the car accident

A few years back I'd been out for a night in Watford with Russ and Chimpy. As we were driving back home, there was a car in front of us which suddenly seemed to lose control and crashed into the central reservation.
We stopped the car, and went over to make sure the driver was ok. She said she was so I called the police but didn't bother with an amubulance. As we waited there for the police to arrive, the woman seemed quite worried, and she then got out her phone to call her boyfriend. She then started shouting and arguing with him, blaming him for the fact that she crashed. Apparently she'd been drinking and was on the phone to him when she crashed the car. She then told him that we'd called the police and she didn't know what to do, so he basically told her to run away before they got there.
There wasn't anywhere for her to go apart from fields, so she ran off into some fields so the police couldn't breatherlise her.
Ten minutes later the police arrived and we gave them statements of what happened. Then something I didn't expect happened. As we'd told them she'd been drink driving the chief polcie officer made a decission. He called back to base to get the dogs out to chase her, as well as the police helicopter.
It did seem a bit over the top to me, and I did feel quite sorry for the drunk woman lost in soem fields when suddenly she finds herself being chased by dogs and a helicopter.
I think looking back at it now I see why they were determined to track her. She could quite easily have killed someone (possibly us as we were behind her). I still find it quite funny though, imagining her surrounded by dogs and a helicopter spotlight over her in the middle of a field.